Getting Lucky

1. The "Good Guy"

(Bucky)

"Are you sure this is okay? I can always find... somewhere else to stay." My unsure voice echoes through the car, revealing my anxiety and nerves.

"Of course Bucky. Besides, Avengers Tower is the safest place for you to live until the government lifts your probation." Steve replies, his voice so familiar... though a part of me still feels like I'm conversing with a stranger.

Steve Rogers. My apparent former best friend from World War Two. Though seeing him again brought back a flash flood of memories, it was still hard to believe that there had been a me before The Winter Soldier.

The Winter Soldier. My other half, the bad guy, the voice in my head urging me to hurt others. The emotionless Hydra assassin with only one purpose: to hunt down his target, and kill. If I had died when I fell off the train, instead of gotten captured and brainwashed by Hydra, over a hundred people would be alive. People with families, friends, hopes, dreams-

"We're here Buck." Steve's voice interrupts my thoughts, shooting me into the present. "Are you gonna be okay?" He turns around to face me from his seat at the wheel, his baby blue eyes filled with concern. 

'We can't trust him. He will only betray us.' the Winter Soldier's voice whispers in my head. I still haven't told Steve about the fact The Winter Soldier is in my head all the time. He doesn't deserve the extra stress and worry. 'I don't need your advice.' I mentally retort back to the voice angrily, pushing him back with considerable effort. He subsides, but not before making one last comment, 'After everything that we did to him and his friends, he will never fully trust you you. We need to leave before we get killed.' 

Steve is looking at me strangely, and I quickly answer his question. "I'm fine," I mumble quickly, unbuckling my seatbelt. Slipping on my leather jacket, I grab the small backpack with all my belongings and go to get out. Steve grabs my metal arm, stopping me. I look at him, trying to push some sort of positive emotion into my eyes (It doesn't work).

"You'll be okay Bucky, we will get through this. Until the end of..?"

"...The line." I finish, forcing a small smile.

Steve releases my arm, smiling back at me, and for a moment I actually believe things will be okay. 'No they won't' the Soldier mutters, once again causing me to force him back. I exit the car, the cold winter winds blasting my face. Looking up at the tower, I pause for a moment. "What if I lose control? I could hurt somebody." I whisper. "The Winter Soldier isn't gone, Steve. He will always be a part of me, waiting for me to let my guard down. If he regains control, there will be no bringing me back like last time."

"I know Buck, I know. But you don't need to worry, your roommate can defend themselves, believe me." He says it reassuringly, but unfortunately it does the opposite of comfort me.

I feel my face drain of colour, "I'm not staying with you? Steve, you know that you are the most capable of fighting me off. I can't hurt anybody else, it would be the end of me."

Steve puts a hand on my shoulder, "We all think that it would be safer for you not to share a room with someone who had been one of the Soldier's targets, fewer chances of you losing control of your... badder half."

I look at my feet, "Maybe they should've put me back in cryo." I mutter under my breath. When I had turned myself into the custody of the government, I had been put through multiple weeks of trials. Eventually, they found a recording of my torture and brainwashing, and all charges were lifted. After that, there had been a heavy debate among the government on where to put me. Some wanted me to be put back in cryostasis, a coma-like sleep that stopped the effects of ageing, others said put me in the custody of the Avengers, and the angriest of the deciders said just to put me out of my misery (they didn't believe I was innocent). Steve stayed by my side for the entire debate, refusing to let me, his best friend, to be put back in stasis or killed. In the end, Steve had given the government enough reasons to keep me alive, as long as I was kept under tight monitoring and psychoanalysis checks. They swore that if I flipped back even once, I would be quote: "Seeing the light."

Steve glares at me. Grabbing my shoulders, he forces me to look him in the eyes. "It is not your fault. You are James Buchanan Barnes, my best friend, and you are a good guy. The Winter Soldier is the bad guy, he did those things, not you. Do you understand!"

I nod, shaken by his intensity. Then, with a deep breath, I turn, and we enter Avengers Tower.

My new home.

(A/N: Woo, first chapter done! Thank you to the readers for hanging in there through all of Bucko's angst. Can't wait to see what happens next!)

-Skye