Song of Loss and Hope

Chapter Five

It has been two weeks. I have been two weeks in the Okarcia Rebellion quarter, named after the former kingdom. Their goals are to bring back the old life here, the old reign. I managed to tell them that there would me no way for that. The former ruling family was all murdered, slaughtered in a gruesome way. There had been many witnesses. Yet the people here were not listening to me.

I really ask myself how they managed to get so many supporter when they have such an unrealistic goal. Just here in the main base of the organisation are nearly a thousand.

Alad, who I met more often the last weeks, told me there are way more. Numerous camps and buildings are distributed all over the country.

I asked him, how I never heard of them before but he just shrugged and told me "You will know soon enough." I rolled my eyes at that thought. How come nobody wants to tell me anything? Not the women in the kitchen, where I now more frequently helped nor anyone else. Whatever threat they were to face when they would spill any information must be really scary.

In my former rebellion there also had been some kind of threat for the poeple that were getting real information. I wasn't told, but I made Myra tell me and since she was my best friend, she had to tell me. So she did. It was the death. Quite brutal but effiecient. I never heard of a betrayal before till the night of my birthday.

I still hadn't used my powers. Would try to never use them again. No way I would create a monster like Alaid again. No matter if I was a new person now or not.

The new person thing went easier than expected. I thought it would be hard to not care anymore but it actually is easy. Now already feeling like a second skin to me. A skin as hard as bricks and only getting harder with the time.

I think I like it. It is kinda relieving not having to care, worry or be nice. And now with my powers off I do not even have to see the others emotions anymore. Their hurt, their anger, their whatever.

I was currently in my room. It was nowhere as big and nice as my old one but it did the job. Especially considering I only came here to sleep as I was to help here in order to stay. Callum made that quite clear.

After he left me here I only saw him a couple times the first week, hurrying from one place to another. He seemed really busy.

Sighing I made myself get out of my bed. Another day.

Going to the bathroom I did my morning things and then looked in the mirror at myself. Light pink eyes stared back at me. Surrounded by an empty and tired face. I couldn't sleep since my birthday night. Every time I closed my eyes I saw Alais being pierced by the knife, saw his corpse looking back at me, heard his voice in my head asking me what I had done to him. I always woke up breathless with my heart beating too way too fast. But I not only dreamed of my brother I also dreamed about all the others, how they has to die, every time it seemed to be more brutal, even more vivious. I dreamed about my eyes.

My eyes which now had this pink color, the color of the healing glow I did. When I first saw I screamed, thought that it was just a hallucination, not real. But it was. Every time I now looked at myself I couldn't see me anymore. Just someone who created a monster out of their own brother and someone who was supposed to die. Die like the rest of them. The only thing keeping my going was my promise, the promise to get revenge.

Turning away from the mirror I went out of the bathroom I shared with a coupel other girls and made my way back to my room. It consisted out of a slim bed placed be the only window in the room, across from the door. Right next to the entrance was a little dresser where I stored some stuff I got to take with me from my old room. It wasn't much. A jeans, a leggins and a couple of short and long sleeved tops. What really counted was what was underneath it. There hiding at the back of the lowest drawer was a dagger I took with me. They told me I wasn't allowed but I had to think of the future, of possible risks. What if there weren't really there to help me? And what if I maybe did not want to join them, I would have to have a weapon of some kind.