Ouma I'm sorry..

Chapter 4

(A few months pass)
Shuichis POV:
Kokichi seems more depressed than normal, it's weird, whenever I go to talk to him he walks off, when I text him he leaves me on read or has really dry replies, he's missing days off school a lot more recently and comes back more and more injured but I don't really care, things with kaede are going great! Infact we even started dating! Although something doesn't feel quite right.. almost as if it's kinda wrong in a way? I don't know-

Actually I haven't seen ouma in almost a week is he avoiding me? Maybe I should call him to check up on him? Wait no...I have another date with kaede..I'll ask Kirumi! Her and ouma are close! As I walk to Kirumi she seems different, more quiet?? If that's even possible-
"Hey Kirumi! Are you okay?"
She turns to me and just nods
"Have you seen or spoke to ouma recently?"
Her face became saddened...did something happen?
"What's with the face?"
She finally spoke Kirumi: "no I haven't been in contact with ouma..no one has.." Kaito buts in.
Kaito: "that little attention seeking dumbass, no one cares about him anymore, I don't care if he's dead he doesn't deserve friends."
Kirumi looks sadder.
Kirumi: "that's enough kaito.."
"Yeah that was uncalled for!"
Kaito: "well I don't see you running to him he's probably skipping school and staying at home because he knows he's a worthless little shit and that no one gives a fucking damn about that annoying pathetic little gremlin."
I go silent and Kirumi just walks off.
"Y'know what, I will visit him! I don't care about him but atleast I'm not a dick like you Kaito." I storm off and goes to oumas house. I knocked on the door but there was no reply so I tried calling him. "Cmon kokichi pick up..." I find myself worrying about him...b-but I don't care about him..w-what's going on?.. suddenly i heard the door open, a grown man walks out and glares at me.
???: "what." He said bluntly, I notice his eyes are red and he had a empty bottle of alcohol in his hand, I can see the house it looks nice but there's alcohol bottles everywhere and energy drinks, there's also what looks like smashed glass- ..wait...IS THAT BLOOD?! what the fuck?! How does kokichi live in this?! The man glares at me.
???: "HELLO?! MY EYES ARE UP HERE DUMBASS! WHAT DO YOU WANT?! ARE YOU ONE OF THE RATS "friends" OR SOMETHING?!"
I jump a little.
This guy seems horrible..
But I reply
"oh uh I guess? Is kokichi okay? He hasn't been in for a while.."
The man looks annoyed
???: "I don't give a shit now get lost kid." He slams the door in my face.
"Asshole." I just walk off.

I text kokichi later that night,

Private message: kokichi ouma

Shuichi: "Hey ouma, I was just wondering if your alright? You haven't been in for a while nor have you been online, is everything okay?"
Read at 11:32 pm

Kokichi:  "shuichi quit the act I know you don't actually care go text your little bimbo girlfriend and leave me alone already."
Read at 11:46 pm

Shuichi: "kokichi.."
Shuichi: "cmon don't be like that!"
Shuichi: "ouma cmon, I do care about you!"
Read at 11:58 pm

I felt bad for lying..but he wasn't answering his phone..

Shuichi: "ouma? Cmon it's been 3 hours..please respond.."
Read at 1:42 am

Kokichi: "I told you to fuck off shuichi."
Read at 1:42 am

Shuichi: "THATS IT! YKNOW WHAT I DONT CARE! THEY WHERE RIGHT KOKICHI YOUR JUST A ASSHOLE! YOU DONT DESERVE FRIENDSHIP YOUR SO FUCKING ANNOYING IM JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU! WELL GUESS WHAT I DONT CARE ANYMORE! KAEDE AND KAITO WHERE RIGHT! I DONT KNOW WHY I EVER CARED ABOUT SOMEONE AS PATHETIC AND HEARTLESS AS YOU, YOUR ALONE KOKICHI AND YOU ALWAYS WILL BE! NO ONE LIKES YOU AND NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU ANYMORE NOT EVEN MIU OR KIRUMI CARE NOW! ALL YOU EVER DO IS RUIN OTHER PEOPLES LIVES AND BE A MASSIVE ASSHOLE TO EVERYONE AND IM SICK OF IT, I SEE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE MEAN WHEN THEY SAID YOU SHOULD JUST FUCKING DIE I CANT DEFEND YOU OR DEAL WITH YOUR SHIT ANYMORE! YOU DESERVE NOTHING KOKICHI."
Read at 2:00 am

Kokichi: "I'm sorry."
Read at 2:01 am

Kokichi ouma ended the chat at 2:02 am

What did I do...I didn't mean to snap at him..oh god..I feel awful..I-I'll just go To sleep and apologise tomorrow..

I can't sleep It turns out that the guilt is killing me..I look over at the clock and notice the time "4:35 huh..I'll just get up and go get some things for kokichi and apologise to him, what I said was out of order..I was just so annoyed..I-I didn't mean it.."

I get to school with a bottle of panta and some checkered stuff in my bag aswell as one of my hoodies, I know those are his favourite things so it only made sense to get it.
but surprise surprise ouma didn't show up..oh no..I feel even worse..I can't stop thinking about what I said, I feel so guilty to the point I feel like I'm gonna be sick, I start panicking when I notice he hasn't been at dice either, so I sprint to his house and look around trying to spot him but I found something else? It's a letter with "Shumai" written on the envelope.
I open it..it looks like it was wrote by a child so this was definitely oumas...I-it just tells me to go to the treehouse that we used to go to as kids?..I grow more concerned as I run with the letter in my hand, once I get there all the memories me and ouma had here came back.. all the games we played..all the time we spent together...this was my childhood..I look around and see it's exactly how it used to be, I tear up and that's when I saw another letter on the table, I had a horrible feeling in my stomach and just stare at it, this letter seems more professional, that's unlike him...When I open it I see dried tears on the page and I felt even worse..I notice empty bottles of alcohol and anti-depressants...I'm so stupid..how didn't I realise he was actually depressed?..i-it was so obvious! I get annoyed and start blaming myself. "I'm a awful friend..I'm so sorry kokichi.." i take a deep breath to try calm down before I read the letter

"Hi shuichi, it's been a while since we actually talked and well..I wanna come clean, I doubt your reading this but if you do I'm sorry..I know you probably don't care but I just wanted to say goodbye, I know you hate me and to be honest the only reason I decided to not do this ages ago is you, but I'm a fucking idiot and fucked up my only source of happiness. But oh well! No one will miss me nor will they care so I have nothing to lose." I tear up.. t-that was only the first few sentences..but holy shit.. ouma no..wait! I touch the ink and it smudges a little meaning it's new ink so I still have time! I skim through the letter to see if i have anything to go off to see where he'd be.

My phone keeps ringing but I ignore it and just run, I run for what seems like miles, I can barely breathe at this point and I cry out "KOKICHI!..KOKICHI WHERE ARE YOU?!.." but I get no response but then-

*THUD*

OUMA!