⇾ 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐈'𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔 | 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐡𝐚𝐦

| E I G H T E E N |

SORRY SORRY SORRY

♡︎ ♡︎ ♡︎

"Molly?"

"Go away, John," I said exasperatedly.

John plopped down next to me. "Nope," he said. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Why?" I moaned, reusing to cry like a baby in front of him.

"Because it's one in the bloody morning. I'm not leaving you out here all alone. Are you crazy?"

"Yes," I responded. "I am crazy. Surely this is all some twisted dream and I'll wake up soon." John leaned over and punched me in the arm. "Ow," I said, rubbing the spot he'd just hit. "What was that for?"

"You're not dreaming," he said simply. I looked away. I didn't want to look at him. Everything that man back there had just said to me was too fresh. Too damn sobering. I loved John and I couldn't even admit it. I didn't want to. It made it so much harder.

John fell silent beside me. Neither of us knew what to say to one another. We'd been forced together and we'd built a bond out of it. A terrible mishap turned into something so much more and it was going to be so hard to let it go now. I was scared to go back. I was scared to let it go. How was I going to? I'd never been one to deal with emotions logically. I buried myself in music, tried to forget them, but they always found a way of coming back and making my life a living hell.

Now, I was sitting in an alleyway with John Bonham, trying so hard like I always did to forget the way I felt about him, but like it always ended up, the feelings were just tormenting me, making my life hell. I couldn't ever escape. How could I keep living like this?

"Molly, what he was saying back there," John said carefully, but I cut him off before he could even finish what he was about to say.

"Don't start," I said.

"What if you stayed?" he blurted out of nowhere. I turned to him in disbelief. What had he just said?

"Don't be ridiculous," I scoffed.

"I'm not being ridiculous," he argued. "I really fucking care about you, Molly." He looked down at the ground to avoid eye contact with me. "I don't know how I'm supposed to live without you."

"It's easy," I said blankly. "You survived nineteen years without me. You've probably forgotten about dozens of other girlfriends. Just forget about me too."

"That's the problem," he responded. "I thought I could do that. I thought I could just try and not acknowledge the fact that I'm bloody in love with you, but I can't. I can't ever see myself being happy without you anymore. It's fucking stupid, I know, but it's just how I feel."

Tears welled up in my eyes and I brought my hands to my face, hiding it shamefully so John couldn't see it. "Why would you say that?" I asked him, my voice breaking. "Why would you say that when you know that's gonna make this so much harder for me?"

John stayed silent.

"I can't stay here," I continued when I didn't get an answer. "I've got a whole life back home. I don't belong here. I can't stay here," I repeated. My voice was just a whisper now. It felt like everything was zooming away from me speedily. Every word that left my mouth could be heard muffled, like it was a thousand miles away. "You've got to go on and be in Led Zeppelin," I told him. "You've got to go on and you're gonna have a beautiful wife and two children. One is gonna play drums just like you!" I looked at him now. We were both falling apart. He could see it in my eyes and I could see it in his.