I'm here. || Karlnap

4

TW's: bullying, OCD, anxiety.

-Karl POV-

I got out of bed and looked at my legs, I took my hand and put it at the back of my leg, squeezing tightly to see how fat they were. Not much loose skin came up but my legs still looked wrong to me. 

I turned sideways and saw my stomach, it was flat but when I turned toward the front it looked, flabby. The top of my stomach was perfect, it had small curves that traveled down my body but then, it got to the bottom and was all bunched up. 

I put on a hoodie and high waisted jeans and went to go get ready for school. 

-

I dropped off my sister at her school and went to mine, forgetting about what had happened. 

When I walked into the school I was met with devilish smiles and snickers. I clenched my hands into fists and back out again as I walked down the halls, trying to avoid eye contact with everyone. 

I tightly closed my eyes when I got to first period, sitting at the back of the class and on the end seat so no one could see me. 

Everyone knows. I thought to myself, wiping my desk off with my sleeves. 

I sighed and sat through my class, tuning out the teacher.

-

When it was lunch time I sat alone under a tree near the field, it was around the school building so no one usually sat over here. I sat on the grass, drinking a monster. I hadn't run into any football players today, I was lucky for that.

I was about to pull out my phone when I felt someone sit down next to me, I rolled my head around to face them. Their nose was swollen and purple and my eyes grew wide, I flipped my whole body around to look at them, it was Nick. 

"What the fuck?" I asked, leaning forward a little to look at his nose. 

"Is it that bad?" He winced, touching his nose gently.

I just stared at him. "Yeah." I said after a moment. 

"Thanks." He said with a playful glare, I smiled and leaned back on the tree again. "What are you doing?" He said, pointing at my tapping fingers. 

I had been tapping them on my palm and counting each time they hit my skin, making some of my stress about being here disappear. "Counting." I said simply, continuing the pattern. 

"Why?" He said, looking at my hand.

I shrugged. "It helps me." 

He gave me a confused look. "I have OCD." I said quietly, scrunching my nose and looking away.

"I used to have OCD, I take medications now though. I never did the tapping counting thing, it was mostly the thoughts and cleaning."

"What did you think about?" I asked gently, trying not to break any boundaries. 

"It was mostly about my dad." He said in a almost whisper. "But then I started getting terrified of being in cars, thinking they were going to crash, I still do sometimes but I try and hide it." 

I stopped my tapping to grab his hand, I squeezed it and he squeezed back but looked away. 

My brain was thinking of all the bad things that were going to happen later because I stopped tapping but I tried pushing them away.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back on the tree, keeping our hands together. I heard his phone buzz and his hand left mine to get it. I pulled my hand back toward my body and saw his face change into a tired kind of look. 

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, I gotta go." He said, standing up. 

"Okay, thank you." 

"For what?" 

"I don't know. Talking to me." I responded, intertwining my fingers around each other. 

He smiled and jogged off, giving me a small wave. 

When the bell rang I stood up, wiping off my jeans and grabbing my black leather bag, putting the straps over my shoulders. 

-

After school I drove to pick up Arlo, tapping the steering wheel 58 times on the way there so that nothing bad would happen. 

I picked her up and she seemed in a bad mood, her eyebrows furrowed down and she slammed the car door closed. 

"Hey." I said, starting to drive. 

"Hi." she grumbled, pulling out her phone and rolling her eyes. 

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothi-"

"Arlo. What's wrong." I said, she had ADHD and it was hard for her to focus a lot.

"Some teacher gave me a D because she said I wasn't focusing and when I tried to tell her I forgot to take my medications, THE BITCH CUT ME OFF!" She waved her arms around in the air, plugging her phone into the dashboard speaker and blasting music. 

I didn't respond, I let her play her music while listening to her sing. 

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