I'm here. || Karlnap

10

TW's: mentions of self harm and body shaming.

I had told my mom I was sick and needed to stay home for three days, today she forced me to go back. I put on a hoodie and sweatpants, making sure the sleeves reached past my cuts. I had only cut twice over the three days. 

When I got to school I avoided everyone, not wanting anyone to see me. I had huge bags under my red eyes and it looked like I hadn't slept in 24 hours. (which I haven't.)

I was almost all the way through lunch when I saw Nick coming around the corner. "KARL." He shouted, running over to me. He picked me up and hugged me tightly. "Karl I'm so sorry." He whispered as he started crying. "I love you so much Karl." "I broke up with her, I hate her so much." "I'm so sorry." "I don't care what anyone thinks." He cried, putting his head on my shoulder. 

I put my arms around his waist, missing his touch. "I'm sorry." I whispered, tears in my eyes. 

"You didn't do anything wrong baby, I'm so sorry." He said, his voice hoarse. 

He put his hand on my arm, right where my cuts were and it made me yelp out of pain. I pulled my arm back and he looked at me, confused. He slowly reached out and grabbed my arm, rolling up my sleeve, there were about 12 cuts on it. I looked away, embarrassed and ashamed 

"Karl..." He whispered, running a gentle finger over all of them. 

He pulled me back into a hug, putting one hand on the back of my head, pressing my head onto his shoulder and putting his other hand across my shoulders. 

"I'm sorry." I said again, pulling my sleeve back down. 

"Don't be." He said shaking his head. "I should've broken up with her sooner." He sounded so weak. "Just please promise me you won't cut anymore." He said quietly. 

"I will try very hard." I replied, not knowing what could happen in the future. 

"That's all I need." He said, rubbing my back. "I love you so much, I don't care what anyone else thinks, okay?" 

"Okay." I said, leaving my head on his shoulder and facing away from him. 

He pulled back from the hug and looked at my eyes. "I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry." He repeated to me, squeezing my hands. 

"It's okay." I said genuinely. 

"Let's go home, you look very tired. And I need to take away what you're using to hurt yourself." He said, picking up my bag off the ground. 

He left his hand locked in mine and I put my arm around his waist. I unlatched my arm when we walked around the corner, knowing he didn't want people to know he was gay. When he didn't take his hand out of mine I stopped walking and looked at him confused. 

"I thought-" 

"I told everyone, I don't care what people think." He said, bringing me back toward him. 

I smiled the first smile I had in almost 96 hours. "There's your smile." He said quietly, making me smile more. 

Several people gave us weird looks but I ignored them, keeping my focus on Nick. When I saw someone staring at me with a disgusted look I brought up my other hand, sticking my middle finger up at them and walking closer to Nick. 

Nick looked down at me, "Kar, did you just flick someone off?" 

I just looked up at him and smiled, pressing our lips together quickly and then getting in my car.

"Are you sure you want to drive? You look pretty tired." He asked me, putting his hand on my thigh. 

"I'm good." I said, driving toward my house. 

When I got out of the car I slumped over onto Nick, my eyes barely staying open. "Come on, you can sleep when we get upstairs baby." He whispered and kissed my hair. 

I walked slowly toward my room and when I got there I laid down on my bed, trying to take off my shoe but failing. 

Nick came over and took off my shoe, helping me get into bed and then laying down next to me. 

He spooned me after I rolled over on my side, rubbing his hand on his stomach soothingly. 

"We need to talk when you wake up again, okay?" He said. I knew we had to so I just nodded before slipping into a deep sleep.

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wc: 747