MoReid Oneshot Book

Dear Derek - Sad

Warnings: Major Character Death, mentions of Hankel and Buford.

This is really sad I'm sorry about this

A series of 15 letters that Spencer wrote to Derek but never gave him that tells the story of their relationship.

1.

Dear Derek,

This might be weird of me (as you'll find out, weird is what I do)but  I have made the decision to write you these letters. I will never give them to you, hopefully you will never find out about them, but they make me feel better. There's something comforting about this, I would assume it's like writing in a diary. (Did you know that while about 50% of adults have a diary only about 16% consistently write in them?) Today marks the end of my first week at the BAU. I was nervous and anxious that I wouldn't be good enough. I'm too young too inexperienced.  I was scared the other agents wouldn't take me seriously. But then I laid eyes on you as I first walked in. You might think that people's first impression of you is that you're big, tough, and intimidating. That may be true for some people, but not to me. It was your eyes that gave you away, warm, soft, and filled with love, not to mention absolutely gorgeous (but I'll keep that to myself for now). You talked to me and there was a little teasing but that's alright, you called me kid, made me feel like I had someone on my side. You listen to me when I talk, act like you want to hear what I want to say even when it's just a spew of random facts. Nobody has ever made me feel like that before, no one has ever acted like they cared for me as much as you already do. Have you ever believed in love at first sight? ( Did you know 61% of women and 72% of men think that love at first sight is real?) You might find this ridiculous but I think I'm already falling in love with you.

Sincerely the new 'kid',

Spencer.

2.

Dear Derek,

It has been a little over 6 months since I first met you. We have been extremely busy with cases recently, but as long as I get to spend time with you it makes everything a lot better. I don't know if its just because we are the only guys the same age on our team or the job we do but we have grown extremely close extremely quickly. (Did you know that normally It takes about 40-60 hours of time spent together in the first few weeks after meeting for people to form a casual friendship? To transition from a casual friend to friend takes about 80-100 hours of together time. For friends to become good or best friends, it takes about 200 or more hours spent together.) But for you and I, I feel like we became best friends right away. I told you about the bullying I went through as a child and the way you reacted made me feel like I meant a lot to you. You keep telling me that we are brothers and for now I can be happy with that. But, Derek I don't see you as a brother. I thought the feelings for you that I have would fade away, but if anything they are growing stronger. I told you about my nightmares and you told me about yours. Elle left, which was a shock to all of us, but Emily, who filled her place is an amazing addition to our team. I told you how guilty I feel about her leaving, but you assured me it was in no way my fault.  You make me feel so much less alone than I knew was possible. I've never had someone mean as much to me as you do, of course I love everyone on the team but you will always be special to me. Thank you for being you.

Sincerely your friend,

Spencer