iHaveSecrets

iSlipUp

Heyyy! So, I don't usually do fan fictions and I'll probably delete this eventually UNLESS someone reads it (and enjoys it) but I wanted to do a (sad... Yeah I don't know, we're writing sad stories in class so I'm in that kinda mood right now hehehe) iCarly fan fiction because there aren't many left. Feedback and suggestions are very welcome! Hope you enjoy!

Sam's POV:

The halls were a riot, kids screaming their test results at each other, people fighting over the water fountain, students trading food from their lunch bags. I was desperate to get to Carly and Freddie and tell them about the horrible encounter I had with Miss Briggs just a few minutes prior.

Thoughts...

No, shut up, brain!

I saw Carly standing at her locker, talking to Valentina. Valentina was Carly's science partner. I was still annoyed that I had been paired with Michael Hobscrew rather than Carly; he was a complete idiot who acted as if he couldn't speak English (he could) and would constantly repeat the phrase "pork chops over tater tots". It was very annoying and was almost impossible to work around. I'd rather hang with Freddork than Michael. Plus now I couldn't rely on Carly for all the answers. But anyways, I headed over to Carly just as Valentina was walking away.

"Hey, Carls!" I beamed.

"Hey!" She was clearly in a very good mood.

"What are you so happy about?" I asked.

"Well... Okay I'll tell you! Ryan Black asked me on a date! In the middle of a lesson! AAAAHHH!!!" She gushed.

"Really?! Oh my goodness that's amazing!" I cheered.

Carly smirked. Ryan Black was a super popular guy that she had been crushing on for ages. He had dark, dark brown hair, like waves of silk washing up on his head. His eyes were a bright green like the Amazon and he had a slightly tanned complexion. I had a small crush on him a couple months back, but that had quickly died away to be replaced by someone not so new to my life. Someone... Unexpected.

Thoughts.

No, no, not now! I can hold out a bit longer!

"So what's up with you?" Carly enquired.

"Ugh, Miss Briggs is the worst!" I answered, groaning.

"Miss Briggs is the worst is what's up with you?"

"You know what I mean." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Wha'd she do?"

"Okay so, I was eating my oh so delicious, beautiful, wonderful, scrumptious, amazing English bacon in the halls just now. And guess what Miss-Waffle-Cone-Bra-Briggs did when she caught me?"

"What?"

"She called me an uncivilized delinquent and then ran off with my bacon!"

Carly giggled and rolled her eyes.

"That's awful!" She said, sarcastically.

"It really is. And as far as I'm aware, there isn't any rule saying I can't eat bacon in the halls."

"True."

Then Freddie approached us.

"Hey, guys! What's up?"

I opened my mouth to repeat my story (perhaps adding in a few insults directed his way before doing so...) but Carly cut across me and shouted "Ryan Black asked me on a date!"
I expected to see a crestfallen or annoyed expression appear on Freddie's face, but to my surprise he just grinned broadly and congratulated Carls. I decided not to dwell on it. Wow, that was unlike me.

"Anyways, wanna head back for iCarly?" Freddie asked, enthusiastically.

"Sure!" Me and Carly said in unison.

I opened my locker and pulled out my bag, then ran to catch up with Carly and Freddie.

~~~

We arrived at Carly's place and went in.

"Hey, kids!" The familiar voice of Spencer Shay called out to us from behind a humongous, maroon tooth sculpture that was sat in the middle of the room (why was the tooth maroon?!). The couch had been pulled back to make space for it.

"Hey, Shay-Senior!" I laughed. "What's that?"

"A molar." He answered simply.

"Nice." I said. It might sound weird but by then I was used to his abnormal antics, it had become the norm for me. I headed straight for the fridge and yanked out a big slice of ham. I allowed my teeth to sink into the escape. I savored each bite, slowly gnawing away at its thick, juicy flesh.

Thoughts...

Now? Really? But my escape! Please not now, not no- oh no, I'm too late.

"Hey, can I go to the bathroom real quick?" I asked, my voice already shaky.

Freddie frowned.
"Uh, yeah, sure, we still have plenty of time 'till the show starts." Freddie replied. Carly was helping Spence get out of a harness he had strapped himself into; she didn't notice me racing off to the bathroom.

My breathing was already speeding up.

It was all flooding into me. The thoughts. The emotions. The memories.

First the thoughts.

I'm worthless. I am, aren't I?

I'm useless.

No one needs me.

They all hate me, I'm sure of it.

My eyes were welling up with tears. The emotions were coming in, the emotions I had suppressed all day came crashing in at once.

Fear.

Sadness.

Frustration.

Sorrow.

Annoyance.

Terror.

I was crying now, but I had to compose myself before...

The memories came.

"Why can't you be more like Melanie? You were a mistake!"

"That THING is not my friend!"

"You are a disappointment!"

"Over-eater! Oh my days, how can Carly stand a second with her?!"

I was crying hard now. I managed to keep it reasonably quiet but it hurt. No one liked me. Why? Why did I have to be the way I was? Why was I so unlikable? Why me? Why couldn't I be more like Carly? Despite what I may have said, I knew what I was: unlikable, useless, weak. Why? WHY?

I grabbed a few tissues and wiped my eyes, I couldn't stay in the bathroom for too long at the risk of rising suspicion. I plastered on a smile and swaggered back onto the living room. I was hoping my face wasn't still red. Everyone gave me a funny look as I stepped into view (so now Carly notices me, ugh). Well, I guess there's my answer.

"What?" I mused.

"Your face-"

"Its-"

"Red? Oh yeah, I just washed it." I said, quickly thinking up a lie.

Carly sighed.

"Oh, okay!" She giggled.

"Ah, that makes more sense, for a second I thought you had been- nevermind." Spencer stuttered.

Freddie, however, was not fooled. He was still looking at me, concerned. Oh dear. It was clear... I had slipped up.