Taking A Break

Chapter One

Twelve years. Twelve years full of love, passion, friendship, and secrets. Twelve years of endless nights underneath the stars, hot mornings by the beach, and long afternoons out in town. Half of my life I spent with him. Cohen was my best friend. He was everything a girl could ask for. His dark curly hair and green blue eyes were perfect with his pale skin. He was taller than I, like most people were. He was also very chiseled and rugged. Cohen lived next door to me, causing our parents to be extremely close. In fact, our dads worked together and also shared the same name. It was as if we were meant to be. Or so I thought.

Cohen cleared his throat as he looked out the clear window. He was wearing a white button down and his dress pants. He was always like this after we fought, quiet, distant. His hand hung on his collar, pulling his shirt down. His eyes were glistening from the street lights. It was Cohen’s idea to move into the city. He had always dreamed of living in New York.

“New York? You want to live in New York? Good luck with that Cohen…” I muttered shaking my head at him. He grabbed my hands and chuckled.

“It’s my dream; don’t make fun of me…” He said than pouted. I scuffed then sighed.

“So your dream is to somehow get enough money to fly all the way to New York, get an apartment, and make a living there?” I asked. He looked up at me with those eyes, making me weak.

“Well…that’s not all.” He muttered. I bit my lip.

“What else? Don’t tell me you plan on getting a dog too…” I murmured. He chuckled then smiled down at our hands. His thumb lightly rubbed mine.

“I want you to come with me.” He whispered.

We were sixteen when we started officially dating. After months of teasing from our friends we decided to try it. Little did we know how long we would last.

“Tell me Aspen, how much longer do I have to wait for your wedding?” My mother asked. I laughed and looked out towards the dance floor. Addie, one of my closest friends, was dancing with her newly wed, Garrett. She had met him in Europe on one of her eat, pray, love adventures. I smiled at the two and looked back at my mother.

“I don’t know, mom. You’ll have to ask Cohen that question.” I said. She threw her hands in the air and scuffed.

“Oh please, just pop the question yourself. You can’t expect men to commit. You have to force them.” She said. I grimaced and looked over at Cohen. He was at the bar staring off. He seemed lost tonight.

Cohen sighed then looked back at me. He looked defeated, like he had nothing left to say. Our fight seemed ridiculous, but at the same time, it was true.

“Cohen, are you alright?”  I asked as we started to drive home. Cohen sighed.

“I’m fine…” He murmured.

“It’s just…you seem upset. Did I do something?” I asked. He chuckled.

“No, no you didn’t…it’s just…have you ever thought…about what else is out there in the world?” He asked. I swallowed.

“I…might have.”

“Listening to Addie’s speech…about going out and doing things she had always wanted to do without having to worry about anyone…I don’t know.” He said. I clenched my teeth.

“What are you trying to say, Cohen?” I asked.

“Aspen, I…I don’t know, that’s the  thing…” He said. I started to grow worried.

“Are you trying to say you want to break up?” I asked. He looked at me then shook his head.

“No, I would never want that…I just…I think we need to…take a break.” He muttered. I bit my lip and took a deep breath.

“A break? Why?” I asked.

“I just want the both of us to realize what’s out there, and then if we then realize that what we want is each other, than we can get back together. I want you to open up your options. Aspen, we’ve been dating for twelve years. We’re twenty eight and neither of us have had any other serious relationships. We need to explore, while we can.” He said. My eyes started to grow teary.

“Cohen, I already know that I want you. Am I not good enough?” I whispered.

“Aspen, please…will you do this? For me?” He asked. I rolled my eyes and put my head in my hands.

“You’re insane, Cohen. You do realize that?” I said. He chuckled.

“You’ll thank me later…” He muttered.

I rolled my eyes at him and turned to our room. I locked the door as I unzipped my dress and pealed it off. I sat down on the floor and broke down. What was I going to do now? What was Cohen going to do now? Thought after thought flew through my head. Why did he decide to do this now? Why did he decide to do it period? I sat on the floor rocking back and forth feeling sorry for myself. Then I heard a knock on the door. I sniffled then stood up, throwing on one of Cohen’s hoodies and opening the door. He was standing at the door with a sympathic look on his face.

“Can we talk?” He asked. I looked down and swallowed. I stepped back letting him come inside. He sat on the bed and put his hands together.

“What more is there to say? It’s pretty obvious what you want Cohen…or what you don’t want.” I muttered stuffing my hands inside the hoodie’s pockets. He bit his lip and looked up at me.

“Aspen…don’t tell me you’ve never questioned our relationship…” He said. I shook my head.

“I haven’t. But clearly you have.” I said, growing angry. I felt my eyes grow wet. I would not cry in front of him. I was not weak. I bit my lip and looked up at the ceiling to stop my tears.  He lunged forward and wrapped his arms around me.

“Shh…don’t cry, love.” He murmured in my ear. I took a deep breath and pushed him off me.

“Don’t touch me…please.” I said, holding up a hand. He stared at me with those eyes.

“Look, Cohen…I don’t know what you want from me. Do you want me to be okay with all of this? Cause I’m not. All my life, it’s been you. Only you. I don’t get how you can expect me to just…go along with this.” I nearly shouted. He ran his hand through his curls and put his hand on his hip.

“I don’t know what I’m doing, Aspen. I’m lost.” He said then sat back down on the bed. And for a moment, I felt sorry for him. And in that moment, I began to realize he had a point. Twelve years he was all I ever thought about and cared about. Maybe there was more out there. I took a deep breath and sat beside him. He lifted his head and looked at me. His eyes were now glossy. I knew this was hard for him to do. I grimaced and put my hand on his back.

“How long?” I whispered. He furrowed his eyebrows.

“What?” He asked. I sighed, closing my eyes.

“How long do you need?” I asked. He blinked then scratched his head.

“The summer.” He said. I nodded. Three months. I could do that. We practically spent three months apart every year during the summer. The only difference would be is we weren’t tied to each other. He would be meeting new people, and so would I.

“Cohen, I don’t know how this is going to go…but…I…I’m willing to try…” I said. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. He buried his head into the crook of my neck. I felt myself come close to breaking down, and for once, I decided it was okay to.

“Shh, shh…it’ll be okay. I love you. Always have, always will…” He whispered in my ear. And then I let myself go.