A couple of weeks have gone by and Tommy eventually had gone home. We tried to distance ourselves but every chance we got we were making out. It was cute, the way we snuck around. I had always been this boring girl but Tommy wanted to blossom me. And I was okay with that.
It was a struggle trying to show affectionate feelings towards Cam, but there was no way he was going to find out about Lee and me.
"Earth to Romeo?" Cams hand waves in front of my face, making me lose the train of thought. I raise my eyebrows, questioning his actions as if I wasn't just daydreaming. "You okay?"
"Yeah, just thinking about the future."
"...hopefully I'm in this future?" He asks innocently, it made me smile. It was cute.
I nod in response, "of course."
"It's crazy how much we've grown." He pauses, taking a sip of his drink. "I'm twenty, you're nineteen next week, we're starting our own lives. It was fast."
"I know right, who would've thought we would end up here." I sigh, taking a sip of juice. "Have you applied to any colleges yet?"
"I applied to SDSU and Long Beach Uni. What about you?"
"I was thinking of going to a school around here, its cheaper and I can definitely find a job nearby.
"Work at the music store with me, you can get a discount."
"I could do that, but I kinda wanna work at the film processing store down the street. I could get into photography."
"Or the skate shops?"
"Yeah maybe."
"Work at the zoo,"
"Nah," I laugh, "I don't wanna work around animal poop."
"Gross." We both burst out laughing. "What about joining Tommy on tour?" Cameron says. I paused. My heart paused. Why would he say that? He hates the dude.
"I don't think I'd last a week in the band. I'd be homesick."
Lie.
"Well, whatever you choose I support you." He smiles, placing a hand on my thigh. It made me feel sick. This wasn't Tommy. I didn't enjoy being with Cameron. It was like dating my fucking brother. "You wanna meet up later at the beach? I can set up a little late night picnic?"
"Yeah that sounds good. I need to go check up on my dad anyways. I'll see you later." I get up and instantly start walking away. "No kiss?" Cameron yells out.
"Later Cam!" I yell back.
-
I went home and showered. Though I was supposed to get ready for the date, I couldn't help but sit at the edge of my bed and get lost in thought again. I needed to tell Cameron the truth. I couldn't keep dating him when all I want is Tommy. And Tommy wanted me. I was just embarrassed and scared he would expose us. But it was better than dating him.
Just then my phone rings, and it snaps me out of my trance. I quickly get up and pick up the phone.
"He it's Lee, you busy?"
Yes I'm getting ready for a date with my boyfriend.
"No, what's up?"
"Nothing, just wondering if you were doing anything."
"I just showered and I am sorta going on a date tonight...with Cameron."
"Oh." There was a silent for a few seconds. "So you just showered huh?"
"I did." I smile, know exactly where this was heading.
"So you're in that sexy little silk robe you always wear."
"Mhm." I laugh, "it's comfortable."
"I bet babe. It'd be more comfortable if I took it off of you. You know, just like the dream."
"Oh yeah? What else would you do Lee?"
"I'd kiss you, those sweet plump lips. And then I'd kiss down your neck, and lay you down on the bed. God it'll be so damn sexy."
"You sound hot and bothered."
"How can I not be Ash. Fuck I want you." He groans, "when can I have you?"
"When I want you to have me Lee." I smirk. "When I stop lying to my best friend." Sighing, I spin the phone wire around my finger. "I want you Tommy. Trust me."
"I'm patient for love Ashton. Take my word."
"I know. I know. We have to plan a weekend away together. Okay? But no business until I figure this shit out."
"No promises baby,"
"I mean it Lee."
"Alright alright. I'll see you soon baby girl."
And with that I hung up. My heart and my stomach felt all weird. This man does some work on me. But I wasn't complaining. It's what I always wanted.
Cameron and I ended up meeting again, and he made us nice grilled cheese.
The waves were quite relaxing, and eased all the pressure on my mind. It's something I needed. He held me as we chatted away, this felt like we were best friends again. And I loved it. But Cameron saw this in a different way, and that's what bothers me.
"I want to tell you something." Cam interrupts the relaxing waves. I look up at him, he was actually really attractive at this angle. "I'm in love with you Romeo." He looks down at me, searching for my eyes. But I looked away.
This was going too far. "Cam."
"You don't have to tell me you love me back okay. It's really not necessary."
I didn't respond.
"Cameron I need to tell you something."
"Ashton, really it's fine. I know it's only been a few weeks. But this feels authentic. If you don't feel it then don't feel rushed to say it."
I wasn't going to say anything like that. "Okay." I simply say. All I could really think about was Tommy telling me those words. I wanted him to tell me. Not Cameron. I shouldn't be here. This will crash and burn soon.
But I don't say a single word. I just enjoy our time together. Kissing and hugging like I was madly in love with him. As if he was Tommy.
Fuck.
-
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