letters to louis || l.s (on hold)

letter twelve

" All that you are is all that I'll ever need " --

(Focus on Harry in this chapter. focus on his way of writing, or acting. Think about it.)

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Dear Louis,

Stop. I am here today, writing you a letter. And I'm asking you to stop. Stop looking for me, for you won't find me. Just, stop. I saw you yesterday, running for my car, desperate and hopeful. And it should make me happy, yes. But it does not. Quite frankly it pisses me off. I told you, Louis. I told you that you would find me when I let you. So stop trying.

Don't force something. We aren't supposed to meet yet, we're not ready. You aren't ready to know the real me, and I'm not ready for you to know the real me either. This might make me a coward, and complete sissy. But I fear you won't like me.

You don't understand Louis, you won't be able to put up with me. Trying to keep yourself okay is a big load to carry. And once you have me, you'll have to keep me okay too. It's too much, it was too much for Luke and it will be too much for you. I'm always too much.

I don't want to be this way. I wish I could just go up to you, a steaming coffee in my hand and a smart pick up line on my tongue. But I can't. I'm awkward, clumsy, and anxious. I can't speak to people, for I don't know what to say. For that reason, I write you letters.

It's much easier, to pour everything you've been bottling up into a paper. What a funny little world we live in, Louis. A world where scribbling words on a piece of paper is the only way people will listen. I wish they'd have listened. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, no. I'm just a mess. A huge, stuttering, scared mess.

And I long for the day, Louis. That I can come forward to your piercing blue eyes, and tell you everything I want to. But for now, my pen and paper will do that for me.

Keep smiling, Louis.

-Harry.

*~*~*~*

"What did I do wrong?" Louis asked, eyebrows furrowed in frustration.

"Seriously, Zayn. I put effort into finding this boy and he pisses his pants because of it. What did I do wrong?" It was unusual, for Louis to be so upset. Especially over some creepy boy he'd never even met. So Zayn did only thing he could think of doing. He helped.

"Have you ever tried going in at a different time?" He asked, half asleep as he laid with his head in the pillows and a hand down his pants.

Louis eyebrows raised in interest, his eyes sparking with a mixture of hope and confusion.

"What do you mean? No I always go in at the same time. Always."

"Well mate, maybe if you went in later it could be his shift at the cashier. Take him by surprise. Play the game back."

Louis smiled, because yeah, that could actually work. So he got under the covers, snuggled close to his best mate and fell asleep, thoughts of curly hair and notebooks lingering his mind.

He dreamt peacefully, for he had no idea what he was getting himself into.

*~*~*~*

A/n:

I do not know when this story will end. But this won't have any more than 3o chapters, because I want to start on other books.

I do not write cliche. Yes, this seems cliche, writing anonymous letters to the boy you admire. But I'm a realistic writer, and I will end this story how it would end in real life. I won't change the plot to find yours, or anyone's standards. This is purely fiction. Remember that.

I'll update soon.

15 comments, 16 votes.

bye. Xx