letters to louis || l.s (on hold)

chapter nineteen

" Even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through. " --

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Harry's POV

After me and Louis made out on his kitchen counter for twenty minutes, Louis actually got to cooking. My legs swayed back and forth as I sat on his kitchen counter, watching Louis hips move as he hummed along to a song he was playing off a cheap stereo in his small, dusty apartment.

This place was a mess. He deserves a fucking castle, not this dump. I was gonna get him out of here, just not yet. It kind of occurred to me while me and Louis were kissing, that I knew nothing of this boy. This beautiful boy that saved my life, is a complete stranger.

I like him, I like him so much my heart aches in my chest every time he smiles at me. But I can't be with him, not yet at least. It's completely absurd to jump into this the second we meet, we need to form a relationship first. So maybe all the kissing wasn't a good idea.

"Harry! Stop dazing off and entertain me you giraffe." Louis voice snapped me out of my thoughts as I smiled at his playful nickname. Giraffe, that was definitely a new one.

"Okay princess, your wish is my command." I replied smugly, my sarcastic comment making Louis turn to look at me, his mouth pulled down into a frown and his hip popped out sassily to the side. He raised an eyebrow at me, waving the spoon he had in his hand in my direction as he walked closer.

"Shut up, Styles. If anything, I'm a prince." My laugh came out louder than I expected, surprising me and Louis both as I slapped my hand on my mouth shortly after.

"Hey don't do that, you have a lovely laugh." My mouth curled into a wide smile, showing Louis all my perfect teeth and set of dimples.

"Okay, we'll both be princes then." My voice got softer as Louis took a step closer to me, his eye shining with amusement.

That's when I noticed how beautiful he really was. His skin was so smooth and burned a tan color, it felt like fire under my touch. His eyes shown with so much mystery and excitement it sent chills down my spine every time he looked at me. His lips were so soft and full my mouth ached to be attached to his. His hair was soft and feathery and felt like silk when I ran it through my fingers. He was so undeniably beautiful, and I was so god damn lucky he was staring at me.

"Harry?" His smooth voice brought me back to reality, causing me to blink down at him. He was so tiny, so adorable. I could stare at him for days.

"Mhm?" I replied, too caught in his trance to actually pay attention to his words.

"Please don't ever kill yourself." And I was definitely paying attention now. My eyes widened, a small breath leaving my lips.

I couldn't help but feel so many emotions all at once. It was all so overwhelming, a wave of disbelief rushing over me at his words.

He was so unbelievably blunt. So straight forward, he gets to the point right off the bat. And I had to admit, it was impressive and aggravating all at once.

"What?" My voice betrayed me as it cracked, causing me to pull my lip between my teeth in embarrassment.

I mean for fucks sake I wasn't sixteen anymore. Yet my voice still wavered and cracked as if I was a hormonal teenager going through puberty for the first time. It was humiliating, honestly.

"Please don't kill your-"

"No Louis, I heard you the first time. Believe me, I heard you." I jumped off the counter, my legs barely hitting the floor before I was pacing around the small kitchen.

"Why would you say that?" I spoke quietly, my words rushed and shaky. How did he get me like this so quickly?

"I don't think you quite understand, Harry. Im standing here right now, looking at you. I'm looking at you and I'm convinced you're going to be love of my life. You're gonna be the man that will be there for me through sickness and through health, the man who buys me mint chocolate chip ice cream at two o'clock in the morning. The man I will always want, always crave."

I couldn't feel myself breathing, I couldn't hear the beating of my own exhilarating heart. All I could think was Louis, Louis, Louis, as he spoke these words to me.

"You're gonna be the one, Harry Styles. And I can't really love you if you're sixty feet under the ground laying in a metal box with nothing to remember you by but a fucking rock with your name and a cheesy quote on it. So I need you here, with me, physically here. So I can hear you, touch you, smell you, feel you, fall in love with you. So yeah, Harry, don't kill yourself. My world is pretty fucked up as it is, I need something as beautiful and pure as you to keep me going."

I really wasn't sure when I'd started crying, but I was sure those were tears rolling off my cheeks. My head was swimming with the words  he had spoken to me, the heart wrenching, beautiful words that slipped his lips.

I couldn't say anything, and I didn't have to as Louis closed the space between us, pulling me in for a bone crushing hug. He couldn't see me, I knew that, but I was nodding my head.

I want really sure if I was nodding my head as an answer to him, or an answer to me. Because right then I knew I couldn't let this ray of sunshine go. My world was a god damn sea of darkness, and here, right in front of me, I had light. I had mystery, charisma, beauty, purity, danger, adoration, risk.

Right here, in my arms, I had Louis.

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a/n:

wow wow wow wow wow hey!

I know I've been gone for a while but hello! what's up! how are you? I hope you are well.

anyways, yes this is an update. but this story is still on hold, but wait! put your pitchforks away! there's more...

so I said this will be on hold for a while, and it will be, but I've decided to throw in a few random updates here and there. for example, this one.

I hope you guys enjoyed this, because I did work very hard on it. I work extremely hard on letters to louis, so I hope you guys done give up on this story while it's on hold.

anyways I'll see you guys soon? hopefully?

comments are appreciated!

bye. Xx