5 years too late [L.S]

4

Harry

As I watch Emma walk away with our order I fall back In my chair once again. Feeling as I can finally breath again, it takes energy to act all happy and smiling. I feel them all staring at me again, probably curious about my mood swings. Before I meet their eyes I take a big breath and sight. Sitting up and turning to Zayn. The only one who isn't looking at me like I'm a freak. Sure, he know something is up but he doesn't question me, doesn't look at me with pity and isn't a constant reminder of my last days with Louis. They follow my gaze as they stop on Zayn, even he a slightly bit shocked, but he doesn't back alway. He meets my look and offers me one back accompanied with a raised eyebrow. Silently asking what's up.

"So... you're back, how come?" It's the question everybody was too scared to ask, but I genuinely don't care about being polite. And he seems to like my boldness as he sends a smirk my way. I'm subconsciously smirking back. He looks at all of us while answering with a simple.

" Felt like it, got a bit lonely back on stage and I know my fans are dying for me to do this" he shrugs his soldiers before continuing "and I kind of missed you guys... I know some things were said, some a long time ago..." Louis left out an irritated laugh, I quickly give him a stern look that says 'you aren't any better', but Zayn ignores it "...and some recent, sorry about that H, but yeah, never meant them, was just pissed off"

I like his answer, honest, owns up to his mistakes. Him and me, it could work again. I look at him sending him a big, fake, smile, showing my teeth and all before sarcastically answering "Awwwww... Zaynieeee, don't worry all is forgiven and good, we will ALL welcome you back with open arms" as soon as I end my sentence, he laughs, actually laughs. I missed him. I missed all of the boys. But they will not know that. They probably hate me anyway. I send a small smile back in return, this time actually genuine, and he doesn't question it, just nods.

He is the next to open up and asking if anyone would like a smoke before the food arrives, and I'm quick to answer with a simple "me" and standing up from my chair, putting on my coat. For what feels like the millionth time this evening, everyone stares at me with their mouths hanging open. Before Louis speaks up. God have I missed his voice. Nope. No. I am not allowed to go there.
" You don't smoke" he says quietly, almost sounding afraid.
"I do now"
"But you hated it"
"I don't anymore"
"You always said that it was a slow suicide"
"It is" I answer simply and honestly, leaving them once again to stare at me in disbelief. But I don't care as Zayn and I walk outside to finally be able to relax.

Once outside he pulls out two cigarettes, handing me one. He then pulls the cancer stick to his mouth, lighting the tip of it and inhaling. When his cigaret is lit, I follow the same routine after mumbling a quick 'thanks'.

"A lot of tension in there, innit"? I shake my head, take a big drag, playing with the smoke, letting it go down to my lungs before blowing it out. Relaxing.

" Yeah... it's like we forgot we used to hang around each other 24/7 for almost 5 years"  He nods in agreements before once again apologizing

"Sorry for leaving you like that, not cool, may have ended up ruining the greatest band in history" he looks down taking a drag before meeting my eyes.

"Nah man, wasn't your fault, I was the one who broke one direction, you just left a toxic environment, no one blames you"

A few drags later he asks the question I'm sure every one would love to know but is afraid to ask. " what happened to you man...,you are just, you know, cold..." I don't know how to answer. I take another drag. Appreciating the quiet.

" Me and Louis broke up, my life went to shit, got some good music out of it tho" I shrug, trying to find something good of my heartbreak

"Amazing music, you mean" he winks. " Well I'm sure Niall and Liam have already tried to make you feel all good and bombarding you with questions for the last five years, I'll just offer you smokes and company, talk if you want, don't if you don't want to, be cold if it's easier, I don't care" he looks at me sending me a small smile, no pity, just a smile "... I want to at least have 1/4 boys not hate me" he ends with making me once again smile.