5 years too late [L.S]

5

Harry

Niall smoothly parks the car in my garage and hops out. He hands me the keys while looking at me with puppy eyes, ughhh what now...

"Let me crash here"  I'm well aware that he is doing this out of pity. I make my way to the door while answering "No".

"Common, we are getting papped tomorrow morning, might as well stay here... And I'm to tiered to walk down the street to get to my house" he looks at me in the eyes and finishes with a "pleaspleasepleasepleaseple-"

"Fine" I snap, letting him in and locking the door after him

"Wow, you house is... uhhh... clean?" It ends up more as a question than a statement. I'm well aware my house lacks of personal items, all that can be found in the basement at my old flat in London, but I haven't been down there in years.

"Mhmm... there is 2 guest bed rooms, there is a spear teeth brush in the bathroom, make yourself at home" I mumble before adding a quick "goodnight" and making my way to my room. I debate with myself for a second weather I should end some of my currently emotional pain by replacing it with physical pain. But knowing that if Niall finds out he would not leave my side at any time of the day for the rest of my life, I decide not to. I appreciate Niall a lot. But even he can't help me now, I'm to deep gone, and in the end I know he would leave me too. Everyone does at one point or another.  It's better for me to distance myself from them than to later be stabbed in my heart when they decide that I'm not good enough for them.

I take of my clothes, not my boxers this time, don't want to give Niall a shock, even if it would not be the first time. After all he has walked in on me and Loui- No. not again. I sight. Roll over in bed. And slowly let sleep consume me.

***

I wake up. My breathing extremely hectic. Heart beating fast. Another dream. This time a, somewhat good, memory. It has to do with the fact that just being around Niall reminds me of my and Louis good days. But u quickly remember the bad ones. I sit up, letting my feet  feel to cold floor, and walk over to my bathroom.

6.38 AM

It's a decent night of sleep. But as I stand there watching myself in the mirror I can se the bags under my eyes. All the stress are triggering breakouts. I need distraction. Knowing I can not scare Niall off with drinking, drugs or blood, I settle for running. I brush my teeth, put on some running gear and make my way out. My foot still sore. But I don't give a fuck. Physical pain is easier than emotional.

I run, and I run and I run. Not stopping once. Letting all my thoughts quiet down until the only thing I hear is my heavy breathing an the shoes against the pavement. The pain in my food increasing with every step. But I don't care.

As I walk into my living room I'm met with a frantic Niall pacing the room, holding the phone with such a force I'm afraid it will break. When he spots me he lets out a breath. Quickly making his way to me and embracing me in a hug. I don't hug back. Haven't hugged anyone, apart from fans, in a long time.

" I thought you left for good this time"

I feel the pain in his voice. And it's not a irrational thought, it's something I'm capable of doing. Hell, I did it a little over 5 years ago. I feel bad for Niall, I never wanted to leave him, but he's a constant reminder of my past. The past I have desperately been trying to forget. Trying to ease his pain I decide to speak up, ending his worry.

"Was just out on a run, how about we go to breakfast and get papped there, my treat" knowing he will not be able to say no to breakfast.

Slowly he lets me go, letting me breath again and laughing while nodding " running before 9 in the morning, you my friend, are sick... but go shower first, you stink" I nod in acknowledgment and make my way upstairs. I didn't even realize my run lasted almost 2 hours. Well, if all my runs turn out to be this long, it explains why I gained muscle mass. Not being the bony teenager I once was.