Life Together (Completed)

Five

***** Carly *****

We are currently on our way home from our 12 week check up. Our baby is healthy and growing and we both couldn't be any happier. Noah's phone ringing pops me out of my happy thoughts so I look down at the caller ID.  A chill runs down my spine. He goes to click it over to bluetooth but I quickly grab it and answer it myself. I awkwardly eye him through my preifreals as his right eye brow raises, questioning my actions.

"Hello?"

"Mrs. Jacobson?" Brad, Carol's main nurse questioned if it was me.

"Yes hello." He sighed before answering.

"I think you and Mr. Jacobson should come down here."

"Okay, is everything okay?"

"I think it's better if you both just come down here and we will talk in person."

"I understand, but I need to know is it already too late?" He took a moment to fully understand what I was asking in not so many words.

"Yes, I'm sorry."

"Me too, we will be right there, thank you."

  Noah is now looking at me bewildered. "Babe? Who was that and what's wrong you're pale?"  I hang up and put the phone in the cupholder again. "Babe, Carly? I'm starting to worry here."

"Sorry, actually can we pull over for a minute I'm just getting morning sickness?"

"Yeah but we are a block away from home, can you make it?" This conversation will be better at home.

"Yeah I can, okay."

I can't look him in the eye.  I know he knows I'm full of shit right now. The next two minutes feel like 20 until we finally pull into our driveway. He clicks off the engine and pulls out the keys as he turns his upperbody towards me.

"Now can you tell me what the hell that was about? Are the kids okay?"

"Yes Noah they are fine don't worry, but let's go inside first." He reluctantly nods his head and goes straight inside, he usually walks around and opens my door for me but right now he's not himself.

Inside I motion towards the couch. "Come sit with me please." He silently does as told.

"Noah baby, it's your mom."

"What? Is she okay?" He asks such a weighted question. Is she okay? Maybe. Who knows. Was she ready to go? Did she feel anything? Is she happy now? I don't know. I will never know.

His panicked eyes draw me back in from all my ominous questions and thoughts. Is she okay? I internally repeat to myself once more.

"No baby, she's gone."

"No. " He responds with assertiveness. As if he had any control of the outcome. I go to grab his hand but he jerks his wrist causing me to flinch as he abruptly stands up. He paces left to right.  "We just saw her, yesterday. She was fine. It's not possible."

Now his hands are nervously raking  through his hair as he continues to ramble. "No. It's not time. She was fine."Afraid to stand or make any sudden movements I decide to try to coax him back to sitting down.

"Babe, please sit down."

He must not even realize I'm talking to him because he just keeps on pacing without even a flinch. "Noah. Please sit down." I try once more. But fail completely so instead I slowly stand and get right in his pacing path. This time he notices me and stops right in front of me. I grab his face forcing him to look me in the eyes.