Love Can Be Deadly

Let it go

It's finally time. I get to finally see what's been bothering me. I can only remember very little of my childhood and my time here at Hogwarts. What I don't know is if I have some other things going on around me that I haven't noticed. Things that affected me.

"What did you want me to do again?" I ask for the 4th time. I can see he's getting annoyed with my ability to remember things. Sorry not sorry.

"Just hold still and open your mind. Whatever you do, do not push them away. Concentrate and we can get it over with." He sighed and held his wand at the ready.

I start shaking. I'm trying to hold still but how can I when it feels like he's about to kill me. This isn't what I expected at all.

"Legi-"

"WAIT!" I interupt him. My eyes are squeezed shut while I'm trembling in fear. I may not know what's coming but I trust him. I take a moment to breathe and calm my nerves. I gain control of my breathing and I slowly open my eyes to meet his.

"Okay, go ahead." I give him a nod and he doesn't hesitate.

"Legilimens!"

My eyes widen.
Many memories pass through me. Ones I do remember are the brightest ones but the ones I don't remember that much or at all are the ones filled with darkness. Passing through the darkest ones, I get scared. Too scared to see what's waiting for me.

I see myself when I was a toddler in my living room back home. 'I guess we're starting from the very beginning then.' I'm hearing voices but I don't know where it's coming from. No one is around me. I look everywhere but I can only see baby me standing in the center of the living room.

'"Can't you do one simple thing right?! Your mother would've been ashamed of you! She never should have had you. She would still be alive if it wasn't for you!"

"Nobody wants you! Why do you think no one talks to you? Your such an idiot."'

As I'm hearing these words, I can't help myself but start to tear up. I take a step forward, making images swirl around. I end up in my old charter school back in Kindergarten. I'm invisible to everyone but I see myself sitting at a desk in detention with my old teacher Mrs. Roberts. I don't remember this but I want to see what I did to end up here.

'"You do not talk back to your elders! Shame on you! Do not correct me in something that I already know. I can't believe they let you in. Guess they're allowing children like you in here I suppose. Pathetic!"'

'She said that to me?' Seeing my little self about to cry, I step forward, wanting to comfort her. But it takes me to another image. I'm in my room back home. I don't see anyone except a frightened little girl, probably around 8 years old, in the corner protecting herself from...a stranger.

'Who is this?' I thought as I see a man who seems to be breathless stand in the doorway of my room.

'"So your my so called granddaughter? Your mother was a slut, sleeping with people she shouldn't have. Shame your aunt and uncle aren't here right now. They could wat-"'

It ends there. I try my hardest to remember that day.

'Focus! I need to know what happened.' I tell myself repeatedly. I only get a few glimpses of that day but soon the memory starts going backwards like a time turner.

I finally see it.

'I'm sitting on my bed, reading a book I just got from the library. I turn my head towards the sound of a front door opening. I get up and start heading downstairs, only to realize it's a stranger. He sees me and rushes towards me. I run back in my room closing and locking the door behind me. I hear his footsteps getting closer. I get away from the door but end up tripping on my shoe that I didn't put away last night. I fall but crawl my way to a corner. He twists the knob over and over again until he's finally kicking the door multiple times. After the final kick, the door swings open with a loud thud against the wall. I see him standing in the doorway with an evil smirk. Breathless, he continues to speak.