hearts formed by solicitude and desolation | chishiya shuntaro

⌈ 24 ⌋

ᏞᎾᎪᎠᏆNᏩ . . . . .

ᏞᎾᎪᎠᏆNᏩ ᏟᎾᎷᏢᏞᎬᎢᎬ!

chishiya shuntarou was a man who brought you many emotions. feelings you've never experienced and parts of you you didn't even know existed. in a way he brought out the worst in you, things you'd rather keep hidden within the depths of your heart to never see the light of day ever again.

but he also brought out the best.

you felt your blood run cold and chills travel down your spine, still frozen in your spot as you continued to stare at the man in front of you. were they good chills? you didn't know, you didn't feel like trying to figure it out, but there were so many things you wanted to say to him. words clawing up your throat and begging to be released. questions that seek answers, apologies to bandage the wounds and pieces of your heart you left to him. despite the things you have wanted, perhaps could've said, none of the string of jumbled up words you thought up of came out. instead you silently lowered the weapon still grasped in your hands and let it clatter to the floor, along with your knees as a hand grasped onto the shelf beside you, a futile attempt to steady yourself.

chishiya continued to stare at you, silent and not verbally saying anything about your behavior. but his eyes were all you needed to know what he was thinking. cold and condescending, staring down at you on the ground. going over the contents of your figure, and for a second longer than the rest his eyes studied your hip, where the bullet graze from the witch hunt began to throb as you thought about it.

was he the one who bandaged it? the one who saved you from the sweltering heat caused by the raging fires? you did find yourself outside of the collapsing building with no recollection of leaving. so was the figure you believed you conjured up due to your limited oxygen actually the man in front of you?

it seemed even in your fight chishiya cared enough to save you, and that thought was enough to feel a small warmth settle in your chest.

"did you..save me from the building?" you asked, wanting to hear for yourself that he was the one who did it. that you weren't just imagining things. because if it really was him, it meant that maybe your relationship wouldn't have to be severed completely.

you could still save and piece back together the fragments of your hearts.

slowly he lifted his eyes back to yours, careful not to show any emotion that could hint to the answer you wanted. stubborn as ever. instead, he turned around, causing your heartbeat to quicken inside your chest.

"doesn't matter. keep the wound clean otherwise it'll get infected." the monotone and steadiness of his voice didn't surprise you one bit. it was something about chishiya that you knew all too well. and yet, you wished he'd allow at least some emotion to surface rather than keeping it bottled up inside of him.

stray papers crunched under each step he took, and in a hurry driven by the fear of him leaving so soon you rushed forward, grasping a handful of his blue cardigan in your fingers and tugging hard enough to make him stop.

"is that all you have to say?" you asked quietly.

slowly he turned his head and looked over his shoulder, "i have nothing else to say to you."

no. he was lying. chishiya always had something to say, "don't give me that bullshit-"

"you made your decision back at the beach."