hearts formed by solicitude and desolation | chishiya shuntaro

⌈ 18 ⌋

ᏞᎾᎪᎠᏆNᏩ . . . . .

ᏞᎾᎪᎠᏆNᏩ ᏟᎾᎷᏢᏞᎬᎢᎬ!

it was like the veil you had put around chishiya had fallen, light and airy as it hit the ground and revealing his true nature. reminding you who exactly you were dealing with. who exactly he truly was. and you hated it, even if you knew deep down that this was inevitable. that you had already known the things chishiya shuntaro was capable of doing for the sake of his own life.

your knees buckled from under you at the sound of the ugly truth, muscles weak as you fell towards the ground. the stinging after the contact hurt, but you ignored it, staring down at the concrete in shock at what he had just told you.

"you lied to me." you breathed out in realization, the truth that you had ignored for so many weeks now. it was obvious now wasn't it? chishiya's persistence to have arisu steal the cards, that look he had given you when you had told usagi to trust you and the gut feeling in your stomach when he had first introduced the idea of including him in the plan. why hadnt you listened to it before? why had you ignored all the signs?

"and you didn't?" he asked, voice harsh and reminding you that you did in fact do the same thing to him. but these were two completely different scenarios. you had lied to keep him alive, and he had lied to frame arisu, leading to his death.

"that's different." you mumbled out, only to flinch when he spoke once more, tone of voice low and cold.

"it's stupid that's what it is." the words sent a sharp pain through your heart, the tears you had so desperately tried to force down from falling threatening to do just that.

you looked up at him, his figure distorted through the water gathered in your eyes, blurred and nothing like him. like the man you thought you knew.

"i did it for you." you cried out softly, trying to make him understand your motive. that the fear of losing him was too great to really be honest.

he continued to stare at you, no laughter or smile that would somehow prove that it was just some sick joke, "and i did this for you."

you shook your head, not wanting to believe what he was saying. did this mean that this was your fault as well? maybe if you hadn't befriended arisu, if you hadn't agreed to include him in the plan he wouldn't be confined in the beach. hell, he probably wouldn't have arrived at the beach at all.

нё'₴ GоїиG то dїё ЬёCДц₴ё оf уоц.

your heart dropped at the voice in your head, the image of arisu with a laser through his head plaguing your mind and making you sick to your stomach. no, no no that couldn't be right. he couldn't die like that. you promised yourself you'd protect those you cared about. wasn't arisu apart of that list? didnt you do all of this so he wouldn't die?

"there was no other way." chishiya continued, his words causing you to shout out in frustration at him.

"so you used him? he was our friend chishiya! he trusted us!" your voice cracked through the syllables, burning your throat as a sob escaped your lips. guilt creeping it's way into your body at the lies you had fed him, even if you hadn't know that you were being dishonest at the time.

but chishiya did, and that's what hurt the most.

the blonde sighed, like this conversation was bothersome to him, "and who's fault was that?"

"i didn't know." you tried to protest, not wanting to believe what he was saying. what your inner voice was saying. it couldn't have been your fault right? there was no way you would've done this willingly, not to the people you cared about.