More Time (ONC 2021)

Chapter 4 - The Funeral

Shawn stood on the podium with sweat beading down his back and soaking his formal shirt. After he sought his mother's eyes in the crowd, she nodded as if to say ignore these fools' drama and remember Emily the way you want. He took a deep breath and looked at the sizeable congregation in the church: the Foster family, his former classmates, her coworkers, and Brian, the lucky bastard who'd consistently earned what Shawn had dreamed of since he was a teen, Em's love.

He kept waiting to wake up from this heart-wrenching dream, but the expectant audience stared at him or the large picture of Emily grinning at the lake. An engagement photo for the wedding she'd never have. Why couldn't he have been happy for her instead of jealous? He closed his eyes and vowed to do better by her.

"Thank you for celebrating Emily's life today, one cut far too short. She was my best friend since the day she and Mitch barrelled across the road, and I say barrelled because Mitch had her in a wheelbarrow. They hit a bump, and she came hurtling into our yard. After I helped her up, she didn't shed a single tear but was fascinated by the potential scars on her scraped knees. She lived the same way, fast and with a tenacity most don't develop in a lifetime. Emily is one of the strongest people I know."

He paused and stared at the word strong in his speech, which only conveyed a fraction of her spirit. She'd been through too much. She'd had to repeat most of her high school classes while Shawn and Mitch left with scholarships for university. Although she hadn't said divulged it, he knew it ate away at her self-confidence. Not to mention her exes who treated her like trash. He recalled the determination she had when she'd showed up at his apartment freshman year of college. He shut his eyes. It wasn't the time.

"I'll miss her clever wit, her twisted sense of humour, and what an amazing person she was. She always knew how to brighten a terrible day. Life won't be the same without her, but Heaven is a happier place now." He had to believe she was somewhere better than this and done suffering. Anything else and he wouldn't get through the days.

After he finished his speech, the Fosters congratulated him, but the words were hollow as he watched his other best friend fade like a flickering fluorescent light, threatening to go out any second. Nothing Shawn said or did chased away that darkness building in Mitch. The priest's speech only seemed to incite his friend's anger too.

By the time he, Mitch, Mr. Foster, Brian, and two of Em's uncles were ready to carry her casket out of the church, Mitch was swaying and still reeked of booze. Shawn pleaded with Mitch through his gaze not to mess this up. Em deserved a smooth ride out of this world given her rocky life. It almost appeared Mitch was walking the same path. Shawn sighed. How could he fix that?

Everyone in the pews stood as the pallbearers carried the heavy cherry-wood tomb down the aisle. Shawn blinked away his tears, determined to stay strong and protect Em or what was left of her.

I wish I could have saved you from this fate.

As they descended the steps in front of the church, Mitch stumbled and almost dropped the bottom of the casket. Shawn caught the extra weight and reached for his friends' shoulder with his free hand to tell him he could do this. They made it to the shiny hearse without another incident and pushed the coffin inside. As the wood left his hands, Shawn trembled and all the tears he'd held erupted. This was the last time he'd ever be close to Em.

Someone squeezed his shoulders and patted his back until he could breathe again. When he turned, Brian stood with glistening cheeks and a gentle expression. Behind the hearse, Mitch took out a flask from his suit pocket. Shawn didn't have the energy to intervene.

Brian tugged at his sleeves as a cool breeze rolled by. "It only hurts like this because you two a special bond."

Shawn nodded. He couldn't believe she'd be gone for the rest of his life. Why hadn't they done more together recently?