Cutters Life

Surprise? or Insane?!

Raylie

On my way home I stopped at the store to get a few things. After I got back into my car I decided to call my sister again.

"WHO IS THIS?"-Strange gruff voice

"Shouldn't I ask you the same?"-me

"Well whoever this is report to greenoak sheriff's depertment this is very urgent!"

What the hell!! I thought as I entered the address into my GPS and sped off.

••••••••

I parked my car right up front since it was pass visiting hours it was pretty empty.

As I walked in a woman in her 40's stopped me

"Um mam I'm sorry you need to lea-"

"Yeah how about no. I was called here so I need some explaining!" I rushed out to the surprised yet mad looking woman

She dialed a number spoke a few words and the told me to sit it may be a while

As I sat I tapped my foot impatiently

I looked at my watch °it's been longer then a damn while° I thought just as a officer came grabbed my arm and dragged me in a door all the while me screeming profanities

"Do you have any sharp objects---and devices if so put them in the bin---I ask if you will put your hair up......"

He told me all these things to do while I still yet to know why I'm here after what felt like forever he carried me to what looked like a surveillance room which he told me to sit and wait while he gets someone

•••••••••

I heard a knock, then screaming, then a bang, more screaming and cussing, then finally the door opened to reveal my messed up sister and a bruised looking cop

"Oh what a wonderful surprise!" my sisters words dripped with sarcasm which I have to admit that it hurt just a tad bit

"Hey why are you in here?" I asked ignoring her last comment

"Well while youuuuuu were with your no grateful lover I was with my 'friends' sniffing some um, what do call that white stuff??.........cum..no....snow..maybe.. wait no..m-" I just had to stop her guessing

"COCAIN?!?!"

please say no please say no please sa-

"YES!! well anywhore... after a while we did 'stuff'"

"Oh god please say non Illegal?!" I whispered yelled in hope

"I just realized you should've died!" She said randomly with complete seriousness definitely not answering my last question but answering my doubt.My face fell and I went limp I meen i knew everyone thought it but well I guess I thought my own sister thought well, different but no she always fits into the crowd and that's what the crowd thinks

Just as I was about to reply a loud buzzer came on and guards came in told me and my drugged up sister that she will spend time in jail no doubt they put her in handcuffs and right as they were walking out she yelled back

"Babye ugly fag don't live till I come back hahaha!!" I know what she meant even though it made no sense at all!

•••

When I got home I wiped away a few stray tears and went into the kitchen I looked in the fridge mirror at me

Pinched my cheek fat and finally declared I was fat, ugly and worthless

'Glad to see you finally realized! ' -Ana

'I know.....'-me

'Well go ahead.......punish yourself!'-ana

'Okay..'-me

I said as I went to the knife drawer and got out the sharpest one I could find (since I threw all my beloved razors away sadly)

I ran up to my bed room and slammed my door went to my bathroom started the freezing bath and climbed in with the knife

I sobbed as I took the blade and with no regret (except for living) slid it across my thighs enjoying the burn and sting I closed my eyes and leaned against the cool back of the bathtub

'Haha you think you're done?! After only one cut. No you deserve more you FAT WORTHLESS FREAKING WHORE!' -Ana

I knew she was right

She's always right

So I took the cool metal against my thigh pressed hard again.....

and slid and slid and slid and slid and slid and slid and slid.........

I lost count I felt light head I closed my eyes and leaned back I knew I wasn't dying tonight Ana said it wasn't time so for now

I bleed and starve and burn and sleep

Ana says all of those things will teach me discipline and I will also get skinny so maybe when Ryan awakes he loves me because I know he was lying all those other times

Ana says he was

Ana is always right