The Dark Heart(B.Barnes)

9: Hello Young One

{Song: Memories by Maroon 5}

~Edited~

I was working out in the training room at three in the morning again. After I had that panic attack I hadn't trusted myself enough to try and fall asleep so I came over here and practiced while everyone else slept. And I ended up doing that the night after as well, and now it's the fourth night of not sleeping. 

Coming down here when everyone was asleep meant I could focus solely on my punches and kicks instead of also trying to keep up the illusion that covered my scars and the dark circles that have grown under my eyes. 

"Four nights in a row, you're becoming like me." Tony's voice calls out from the doorway causing me to whirl around in surprise. Clearly my insomnia was catching up to me because I was so focused on the dummy that I hadn't heard him come in. 

Tony motions with his head for me to follow him, and after a few moments of hesitation I wrap a towel around my shoulders and catch up with him halfway down the hall. He doesn't say anything until we get to the kitchen. Even then, he silently grabs two mugs and bustles around the cabinets and grabbing a pot.

I wasn't sure what he was doing, since I had never seen Tony successfully make anything without burning it or catching it on fire. But when he slid the mug of steaming hot chocolate across the counter to where I was curled up on one of the stools I gave him an incredulous look before wrapping my hands around the hot cup. 

"Don't give me that look. This was one of the only things I can remember that my mother used to make for me. Whenever I woke up from a nightmare or had a really bad day she would personally make us some hot chocolate and then listen as I explained everything to her." Tony tells me, a slightly sad smile ghosting across his lips. 

He meets my eyes before continuing, "Now I understand if you don't want to talk about everything, but maybe talking to someone would be helpful. A few of us talk to therapists, or have in the past, and it's been helpful." When I don't respond, and only move to take a tentative sip of the warm drink he sighs before pressing his hands against the counter, "I have these nightmares about that attack on New York a few years ago. The one against the Chitauri, and Thor's brother Loki. That's why I have trouble sleeping, and panic attacks." He confesses.

I let the accompanying silence engulf us for a few minutes, both of us drinking slowly. He doesn't push me, and he doesn't continue to fill the empty air with other words. Very un-Tony like.

When I finish my mug I fumble it around my hands to give them something to do other than dig my nails in my arms. 

"I.." My voice cracks a bit but I clear my throat and try again, "After what I call the Exposure, my siblings started to show abilities fairly quickly. But after a week I hadn't shown any improvement or deterioration. So... Strucker decided that they needed to push my limits." I pause to assess Tony's reaction, but he seemed to be patiently waiting, letting me say anything or nothing.

Maybe it was because I wanted to tell someone, or maybe it was the power of the hot chocolate, but the words just seemed to spew out of me. "They called it the Storeroom. They would take me in there and keep the temperature freezing, then use various things to urge some type of response. Normally it would be a cattle prod to various parts of my body but they liked to change it up. Burning pokers, hot irons, some of the guards would even put out their cigarettes by pushing them into my skin. If I passed out from the pain they would spray me with boiling water until I woke up spluttering. And they would take samples every week, cutting down to my bone in some places to get their samples. But they would keep me awake."

I finally take a breath, Tony had shifted during my word vomit and his fists were tightly curled up, his back tensed. Somehow, telling him has seemed to release some type of tension that was on my mind. My shoulders were sagging and my mind was sluggish with sleep deprivation.