complicated love

locked away

'I find myself zoning out in melodies of your laughter and the perfect image of your smile only to open my eyes and see it's because of her. Now realizing it was all just a fantasy and so badly wishing it was me making you smile'

Possible TW
•not eating
•mentions of rape
•self hate
Betty Cooper
I went that day without leaving my room. Without eating anything. It felt as if I was paralyzed. When I finally was able to go to sleep, it wasn't for long.

I panted as I sat up in my bed, waking up from yet another nightmare. All of them were similar, it was him above me force feeding me the roofied food. And always the other stuff I don't want to mention.

I couldn't help it I started crying. Why me? I sobbed and sobbed afraid to go back to sleep fearing of having yet another terrifying nightmare.

I looked over at my door the chairs were still blocking the door knob from being used. I sighed. As much as I wanted to go and see jughead, and cry in his arms. I can't, and I shouldn't. He wasn't there for me the one time I needed him most

While I was drugged and used, he was in his bedroom pleasuring another woman. He wasn't there to protect me, and even when I went to go ask for help he told me to go away.

So I really shouldn't be wanting to even look at him right now.

Eventually I saw light coming through my window meaning it was almost morning. I decided it was best if l went to the kitchen to get some snack and a few waters right now so I don't run into jughead.

I know if I run into him I will start crying and tell him what happened. He does something to me. Something I can't really explain. There's something about him. something that makes me want to trust him with my whole life. Like I can always go to him.

But as much as I wanted to cry in his arms, I didn't. I'm embarrassed, of what happened. I feel ashamed.

I took out the chair from under the door knob and quietly opened the door. I got a glance at the kitchen and living room and it looked as if a tornado had hit the place. Everything looked like it had been thrown around. There were lamps and pillows everywhere, chairs everywhere, just crazy messed up.

I sighed ignoring it and rushing to get what I needed before jughead possibly woke up and found me.

Once I had what I needed I went back into my room and sat on my bed rushing to open the water.

3rd POV
-4hours later-
"Betty baby, I'm am going to work, please come out and eat something while I'm gone. okay, yeah okay." Jug said from outside her door. He jiggled the handle to see it actually moved.

Betty must've forgotten to put the chairs back after she came back into her room.

With joy he went on his phone and unlocked her door, opening it to see a sleeping Betty.

He sighed walking over to her. "have a good day darling" he said kissing her cheek. He laid a blanket over her and put another pillow under her head to make sure she was comfortable.

He realized he was going to be late so he quickly closed her door and left. Wishing she had woken up.

Betty woke up about two hours later, relieved to not having another nightmare. She grabbed another water bottle from her night stand and almost chugged it because of how thirsty she was.

She went to the bathroom and turned on her bath, hoping to relax. Unfortunately, she still couldn't get the image of that disgusting man out of her head. The thought constantly crossed her mind of how it felt.

How she was conscious but couldn't move. Of how she yelled for jughead, but he was out drinking. Even the pain. She didn't feel any pleasure what so ever.

She let some tears slip, just thinking about it.

Eventually her bubble bath was ready so she undressed. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and couldn't help but cry.

She saw bruised hand prints on her waist, and on her shoulders. She wiped her tears as she walked over to the bath letting the warm water cover her.

She stayed in there for about 45 minutes before it got too hot for her.

She got out and it was already afternoon since she slept in so late. But she still had a couple of hours till jug came back.

For the rest of the day she sat at her bed doodling and writing in her journal. Well that was until jughead got home.

Published: May 5th