Fix My Heart

Chapter Two

New York ~ The apartment

Santana sighed as Rachel rushed into the bathroom again. This had been going on for quite some time and was getting kind of ridiculous. Kurt was completely oblivious of course but Santana knew it wasn't just a bug. She had been waiting for the smaller girl to approach her. As they were living together, she had actually got to know Rachel quite well and she knew she wouldn't react well to Santana approaching her. She'd probably see it as an ambush and lash out. But now it felt like Rachel was never going to tell anybody about the fact that she was clearly pregnant. She'd have to tell people eventually, right? Because she'd start to show. Or would she blame that on eating too much? Or wearing baggy clothes? Did she feel like she couldn't come to Santana? Probably. 

Even though that fact quite offended Santana, she knew she had to intervene, find evidence that Rachel was pregnant and try to help her kinda friend. She tried several different plans. Trying to find out if Rachel was late. Trying to see if she had booked any doctor's appointment. Santana had even tried to pressure Rachel into telling her by continuously talking about babies and pregnancy. But she got nothing and in the end, she was so desperate so she did something quite drastic. She sorted through the trash. And it was absolutely disgusting. But she found what she needed. A positive pregnancy test. At first, she felt proud and happy with herself. She could finally get Rachel to open up to her. But then a wave of worry and panic flooded her body. Rachel was pregnant. What did that mean for her life? What was going to happen? She tried to stay calm and list the several things Rachel could do. 

One, she could get an abortion. That was good because she wouldn't have to raise a baby when her life was just starting. She wouldn't have to deal with the idea of dropping out of NYADA or maybe moving back to Lima. She always wouldn't have to go through pregnancy or give birth, which was obviously very painful. But there was a negative to this option. Rachel would be killing her baby. Her own flesh and blood. And Santana knew that that would absolutely destroy the girl. She'd become a wreck and a husk of her former self. She didn't really care about Rachel Berry but she didn't want to see the girl become that. 

Two, she could have the baby and give it away. The first positive was the same for the abortion one. She wouldn't have to raise a baby. But this was probably the better option because she wouldn't have to kill her child. There'd be no regret or guilt to haunt her. It would be hard but eventually she'd move on with her life. But then an image of Quinn at the start of their senior year popped into her head. She was a broken mess, hung up over the idea of her baby. She was so hurt that she planted a bunch of evidence that was Shelby was an unfit mother in her apartment. Santana didn't want that Rachel to change or become what Quinn and Shelby became. 

Three, she could have the baby and keep it. There'd be no regret or guilt. She wouldn't be hung up over giving her child away, always wondering what could've been. She'd stay the same and wouldn't be broken or hurt. But the bad part about this option was that she would have to keep the baby. She would have to drop out of NYADA for quite some time and her whole life would be derailed. And did she have the money or ability to care for a child? Santana wasn't sure she did. And everything would change in the apartment if there was a baby. She was scared of the future and what was to come. But if she was this scared and panicked, Rachel was probably falling apart. She needed someone to lean on, no matter what option she choose, and Santana would be that person. 

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Ohio ~ Mr Schue's Office

Finn sat down in his office and pulled out his phone. Well, technically it wasn't his office. It was Mr Schue's but since Finn was helping him with the glee club while trying to get his teaching degree, the teacher had allowed him to use his office, which was nice of him. He looked at the messages he'd sent to Rachel recently and sighed. It was just kind of pathetic. He was way too desperate. But he couldn't help it. He couldn't stop thinking about her. After the break up, it was painful and there were times where the thought of her crossed his mind and it felt like he was going to cry. But now, it was like she was always on his mind. It had been like that ever since the wedding. Ever since they sang and slept together again. God, he wanted her back so much. So yeah, even though it made him look desperate and pathetic, he was going to carry on texting Rachel and hoping that she would eventually respond.