oneshots // dnf

acrimony

TW : suicide, death

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"this is it, isn't it, george?" clay laughed off bitterly as the name rolled off his tounge in a slow manner, trying to fight back the river about to combust.

"no, clay, i.." the other was lost in translation, he didn't know what to say, or do. at this point, he'd prefer to be a stone more than anything else.

"it always end here george, what do you expect? i mean, i don't even know why i keep trying with you. you- you've hurt me so much, george. i- i can't-" the blonde breaks his sentence as he took a while to inhale, trying his best not to break down and look his most vulnerable side in front of the brunette.

"it was better online. it felt different online, it was better when-"

"cut it george! for fuck sakes, i know you're cheating on me!" the blonde turn to face the brunette with his features displaying nothing but anger, his eyes widened as tears slowly accompanied it.

the brunette looked back up at him with wide eyes, thinking back to the plan he had set out on getting done with the relationship he had, just so he can get with stacy, a girl he'd met on a bar when clay and him were on a break.

"well, i'm sorry, clay! i need someone for me, and she was always there!"

silence enveloped between the two of them before the blonde had decided to break it,

"...then... why are you holding unto me, george?" the blonde lifted his head as he looked directly unto the eyes the brunette featured, looking carefully at how it softened once the sentence left his mouth.

"for- for years, george. i'd always make it up as if- as if it was always my fault! you-" clay was cut off as his breath hitched, more tears falling as he thought back and once again counted on how many times they took a break, and then going at it again. it was all exhausting, but for him, it was always his fault, so he'd always spiral back and be the one to apologize to the brunette.

"no, please clay, no.. i-i need you, i need you." the brunette repeated as he tried to find clay's eyes, soon realizing it was all too late, the other had become insane. he hugged clay, crying deep into his chest as he clung into him for dear life.

"george." clay spoke calmly, his voice overpowered by george's loud crying.

it felt so... exhausting. he's done.

"george!" the blonde pushed him off as he looked at how the brunette tried to get back to him, soon turning his back as he runs away from him.

"clay.." the brunette spoke softly, clay stopping in his tracks as if a part of him was still chained unto the older.

"george," the blonde smiled as he turned back,

"let me go." clay smiled before disappearing, george glancing at nothing but thin air.

it had already been 5 years,

five whole years, after the taller's death. it had all been like this, all the flashbacks and memories were getting back at him.

the scenario was always the same, clay finding out, screaming, clay running away, and, well...

clay's suicide.

whenever flashbacks would come to him, he would always find himself running after the younger, so much for blaming himself as he never really did that when the blonde was still alive.

oh, how much he had gone crazy after it. no one could ever bring him back, make him happy, he just wanted him, he just wanted clay.

i mean... one way to do so, right?

"-the passing of george davidson," nick's eyes grew wide as he watched his life flash before his eyes as he heard the news, staying still for a good two minutes before standing up abruptly.

"no, no, no, no," nick broke off into loud cries as he fell as soon as he stood up. he still hasn't moved on from clay, he never will, he was his bestest friend of bestfriends, he can never sport such thing.

and as soon as clay passed away, then did the other one. it was hell for nick, he could never- ever think of doing anything else but join them.

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please, dont ever commit suicide. you might always think no one will ever care for you when you pass, but someone and one certain person will, hold onto that.

if no one ever will, no matter who you are or what you've done, im here for you. please never forget that you have value in this life.