The Ass-Clapping of QuizUp

Chapter 7: The Space

Arlo's jaw drops, while simultaneously fucking the draco build a bear with their bubble gum flavored hump of meat. "I fucked anthony ramos"
"Where are you gonna go?" I say while suppressing the urge to shake my ass
"The moon" Sulfur says with stars in her eyes. This is probably because she has a raging case of myodesopsia due to her old age
"HOLY SHIT" arlo yells. I'm unsure if this was directed to what sulfur said or if it was just a moan because they are still fucking the stupid fucking draco build-a-bear
"Wow" I say while biting my lip
"You must go to the moon"
"What" I ask like the stupid little bimbo I am
"You must find minecat and bring her to me. I'll make brownies if you do"
"Weed brownies???" The frat boy asks, they were very excited (as was arlo)
"No" sulfur says
"Why do you need minecat??" I ask
"No reason..." sulfur says suspiciously
"Okay!! Haha" I start shaking my ass
Sulfur presses a bunch of buttons that have names that I cannot pronounce. Like kevin.
Suddenly, the entire building starts to uncontrollably shake. Just like my ass. It starts levitating at light speed. Once we've gone into orbit, sulfur beckons me
"Come my child" she says
She leads me into a back room which I assume was a build-a-bear graveyard. There were rejected build-a-bears everywhere. Some with no eyes, some deflated, some looked as if they had been stabbed to death. My orbs start to get soggy from the sight
"Why did you call me here?" I ask visibly confused
"You see my son, I have been running the build-a-bear strip club for quite some time. Sometimes I begin to wonder what the fuck I'm doing with my life. I realize that life is short and nothing exists, and if nothing exists then I might as well be a super villain"
"What" I ask
"The real reason I'm going to the moon is to destroy the world, and this time GN wont survive" sulfur starts to cackle
"And you my child, will be my right hand man"
"Ummmmm?? No" i say while doing the cat boy dance
"I'm so disappointed in you my child" she says angrily. Sulfur takes a sparkly hello kitty gun out of her back pocket and starts to fire
Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang. Sparkles fly out of the gun. I evade only slightly, my left sleeve getting scorched in the process
Suddenly NOT arlo shows up (still fucking the draco bear) and crushes sulfur with their big fucking hadonkadonks
"You saved me. I love you" I say crying tears of joy
we passionately make out then proceed with life
"Do we still go find minecat?" the non catboy asks, finally pulling out of the bear.
"Um yes duhhh" I say quirkily
"hey mamas," jamie says. "what the fuck is that" they point to a mega-sized astronaut build a bear inside of the literal SpaceX spacecraft.
"God, sulfur," I say. "Theft from SpaceX? maybe you were better than I thought."
"We should get going," Arlo says, their huge meatstick and even bigger tits bouncing.
"You're right," I say as we all go into the control room. "Does anyone know how to drive this thing" I ask confused
"Yes," Jamie says. "Get in loser we're going shooping (on the moon)" they turn on the spaceship again.
Suddenly the spaceship starts going faster. It transcends the speed of light, the speed of sound, even the speed of me fucking your mom. (A/N I'm sorry I'm sure your mother is a lovely lady)
After only 69 seconds we end up on the moon.
"Holy shit" NOT arlo the cat boy says, their tits bouncing from the lack of gravity. "It's beautiful"
"We should find minecat" I say.
"Hey mamas" Jamie says.
"why the fuck am i here" ryan says. Newly escaped from jail
I look around to see NOT arlo pissing in a crater. The vast amount of piss they are releasing completely fills the crater in less than 15 seconds. I am incredibly angry.
"Hey stop that" I hiss at my catboy husband
"Oh god" David says in disgust "we need to actually fucking find minecat instead of pissing in holes" (A/N I forgot other people were here and it wasnt just us)
"I'll piss in whatever hole I want to!" NOT arlo spats
Suddenly a giant minecat emerges from the piss filled hole.
"Hey mamas" Jamie says to minecat
"Holy shit my piss summoned minecat" NOT arlo says astonished at the sight
"Ayy was poppin" minecat says in her big booming giant voice
"HOLY SHIT" the crowd says. "ITS MINECAT"
"Yeah." minecat says. She starts doing the catboy dance and stomping around, crushing many of the remaining gn members to death. Some float off into space. As Minecat shakes up the moon and murders dozens, Arlo, Squidy, Nick, Jamie, and I all huddle together.
"So this is it," Squidy says.
"Yup!" Arlo says.
Jamie starts to sob. "H-hey mamas..." they say, "I didn't want it to end like this."
Suddenly, a huge hand, which I can only assume belongs to minecat, picks the five of us up.
"FUCK" arlo says. "NICK I NEVER GOT TO SUCK YOUR MAN TITTIES"
"god this is so cursed" jamie says.
Minecat stares us down, and we tremble in fear. "Goodbye," she says. and then we are hurled into the vast eternity of space.
I wish I could say that I got more than I expected, but I can't. This is the end, and I expect nothing of it. As we soar into the cold void, an indecipherable look crosses Nick's face. It could be awe, or maybe he died. But all I can say is that this is all we got. All I see before I am finally taken home into the cold but comforting boobs of space is the sun and the earth. I don't see a miraculous rainbow. My life does not flash before my eyes.
At last, I close my eyes and accept my fate. I imagine that Arlo and Squidy are happy to be hugged by the huge tits of the universe. I think Nick doesn't care much. But I think everyone else involved would have left everything behind and forgotten all their memories. I could never do the same. I take one last breath in honor of our beloved GN and all those we lost, and the void consumes my consciousness.
The end.
(A/N holy shit what did i just do.)

A word from the authors:
Arlo: holy shit i'm going to cry we've created something so beautiful. I re-read the death scene and started tearing up. I love you guys and my dad thinks you guys do drugs. He is worried
Jamie: this has over 7k words uh?? anyways. wow. this was a lot. i completely blacked out writing the final paragraphs. wow. thank u guys for existing im glad we did this together
Trashy: hello. All. We had the idea for this when we all probably high but I love this so much. We've called so much in the last 4 days and I think my mother is worried about me. This was weirdly entertaining and I'm so depressed now that it's over.