In the Woods Somewhere (Tsukkiyama)

Moving Forward

The first time Yama missed the meeting, Kei didn't think much of it. Life happens, he reasoned. Perhaps, some festival or minor natural disaster was keeping him from Kei; it could happen. He wasn't even worried, not at all. Sure, Yama was usually punctual and had never missed a meeting before, but first time for everything, right? Right? No, Kei wasn't nervous or worried, just annoyed... yeah, annoyed.

As the month passed, with neither hide nor hair of Yama, Kei did become concerned. It was entirely unlike the human to just disappear for such a long time. So, naturally, Kei took to asking the forest for news. The trees said Yama hadn't entered since the last time he left, which was concerning. Even worse, however, was the news from the birds.

The songbirds of the morning told him that Yama went only to the apothecary, the chapel, and his home, nowhere in between. The crows and sparrows gave Kei human gossip; that a mysterious faerie had tried to seduce and take advantage of Yama. The owls and nightjars told him that the villagers had formed a watch around the town at night and that Yama would walk to the edge of the village only to stare at the forest and then leave. None of the news eased Kei's nerves.

The increased security, frantic rumors, and distinct lack of Yama all pointed to one thing and one thing only. Kei had scared Yama away. If the humans spoke of a faerie trying to seduce and overtake a human, they could only mean Kei. Clearly, he had come on too strong.

The longing gazes, the lingering touches, the gifts, Yama must've seen through it all. Kei should've known better; human men never loved other men. They were disgusted by such a concept, and so must Yama have been. Kei had scared him away with his unnatural advances, and he had lost his best friend for it.

The realization did not sit well with Kei. He locked himself in his room for days, neglecting his studies and health. Kei had officially lost everything he cared for, and it was all his fault.

When he finally managed to return to public life, the people around him only made his suffering worse. Constant were the pitying glances from his parents, the nagging of his teachers over his mood change, the incessant blithering pushiness of Kageyama and Hinata. No one understood. Hinata and Kageyama only knew unquelled confidence and ambition, what could they understand of heartbreak? His teachers only cared for his grades and performance; they would advise him to kill or trick a human on sight. They knew nothing of love. His parents had been happily engaged since forever, and had only loved each other, what advice had they to offer on a relationship that had died before it even started?

Kei found joy in nothing. Not the birds, not magic, not the stars, shining decadently in the night sky. They all reminded him of Yama, of the pain of a disgusted rejection, of his failure as a friend and a person. Kei only kept his health up for his parents' sakes. They could not bear to lose another child, and Kei couldn't disappoint yet another person.

Kei became bitter again, cynical and hardened. Without Yama, there was no joy, no beauty, no reason for excitement or zeal, no purpose. Seeing others in their ignorance to the pains of life only hardened his heart more. All of the fae around him were so carefree, unburdened by the loss of love that Kei had experienced. They knew nothing of real life. No one did.

It was in this melancholic stupor, stewing in misery and cynicism, that Kei gained two more thorns in his side. Proper adventurers, two years above him, had decided to make Kei a victim of their incessant, unwanted advice and optimism.

Kuroo, a creature of the night, and Bokuto the owl spirit were the two worst fae Kei ever had the displeasure of meeting. Why the two had made it their mission to heckle and 'advise' Kei was beyond him. Six months into his Yama-less life, the two had taken him under their figurative wings and forced him into a yet again successful academic life. They prodded him, forced him to train, to maintain his personal health, to work hard, and while their actions were annoying, they helped. Slowly, as the year progressed, Kei found the rift in his very soul healing, being stitched together with the thread of time. Bokuto and Kuroo had coerced him into a schedule of training and self-maintenance. It took time, but a year into their efforts, Kei found himself enjoying adventuring practice once again. Not as much as before, when he fought for Yama, but as much as he could by learning to live for his own sake.

The years passed slowly after Kei relearned how to live. Winter ebbed into spring, then summer, then autumn, then it was winter all over again. Before he knew it, Kei was eighteen and eligible to go on his first adventure, with supervision, of course. Kuroo and Bokuto, who Kei had resigned himself to calling friends, squabbled over who would accompany Kei on his first mission. They offered spectacular plans of fighting trolls and purifying great springs, but Kei had his own ideas.

He was tired of being the only young Tsukishima in the forest, and as much as Akiteru's choices and lies had hurt him, Kei knew when to forgive. So, instead of seeking glory with the overbearing idiots, Kei ventured with the quiet and put together Akaashi, who was perfectly happy to let Kei choose his own path. A path that led him out of the forest, and to the warrior village on the other side.

There, on the outskirts of the town, was a small hut, close to the forest and thrumming with magic. There was no danger in this journey, but Kei felt more fear standing in front of the wooden door than he had in an incredibly long time. Akaashi had offered to stay for moral support, but Kei needed to have this conversation alone, so instead, the older fae stood guard outside the building. Kei gathered his courage and determination and hurt, and knocked thrice on the door.

Slowly, it opened, and Kei was met with a face he saw in his mother and father every day. Akiteru was now older, but the bronze markings twisting out from the bridge of his nose and onto his cheekbones confirmed that he was indeed, Akiteru. The older stilled, and in the span of a mere second, a thousand emotions flashed across his eyes, before settling on joy. Before he could even utter a greeting, Kei was swept into a crushing hug. He was surprised to find that Akiteru was shorter than him now. From further in the house stepped the same blonde woman whom Kei had spotted so many years ago. The blonde woman also looked older, and on her left hand was a ring.

Kei learned many things in conversation that night. Akiteru had married the woman in her culture, and exchanged names, giving no one power over them but each other. The woman, Saeko, was loud, bombastic, and friendly, and she grated on Kei's nerves the same way Bokuto had, but the love in her eyes when she looked at Akiteru was undeniable. They spoke for hours about what had happened in the missed years. Akiteru had become a bookbinder, repairing magical tomes and simple scripts alike, while Saeko worked intermittently as a sellsword. In turn, Kei told them of his new adventuring career and the nuisances that were Bokuto and Kuroo. The couple shared stories of Saeko's younger brother and his thirst for adventure and glory, Kei told them about their parents and the changes in the forest. He did not talk about Yama, and Akiteru did not ask.

After a week of housing with the couple, surely, an awkward time for poor Akaashi, Kei managed to convince Akiteru to at least visit. Or rather, he asked Saeko, and she convinced Akiteru. So finally, Akaashi and Kei returned to the woods with Akiteru and two Tanakas in tow, Saeko had insisted on bringing her younger brother, and Kei was too tired to argue.

The reunion went far better than planned. Kei's parents, of course, welcomed Akiteru and Saeko with open arms and joyful tears. The rest of the fair folk, despite not caring much for humans, took a liking to both Tanakas, the younger, in particular, catching the eye of coveted water spirit Kiyoko. In their excitement and relief, Akiteru and Saeko moved their cottage further into the forest, closer to the fae realm, and while Kei did not care for his new brother-in-law, his family was whole again.

Yet even in such joyous times, Kei's heart ached for Yama. The void left in the human's wake hadn't fully healed over, and on most days, Kei thought it never would. In the now five years after Yama's disappearance, much had changed, but life's occurrences had failed to lessen the ache for Yama. Perhaps at twenty-one, Kei should have learned to move on, Yama was just a human, after all. But despite what his guarded exterior may have led some to believe, Kei was not one to easily let go of sentiment. Even after such a long time, all the good things in life reminded him of Yama.

The stars at night taunted him, a pale reminder of the beauty on Yama's face. The trees and birds only served as a testament to how well Kei's world blended with Yama. Clear water and flowers brought back painfully joyous memories of conversations under the wisteria tree. Worst of all, though, was the wedding between the younger Tanaka and Kiyoko, a union Kei had truly believed to be one-sided until just months before the ceremony. Kei had grown out of his hostility towards his brother-in-law, but try as he might to be happy for the other, he could only think of how much he wanted him and Yama to exchange names.Still, he held onto hope. Both he and Yama were still young; there might yet be a time where they could meet again, besides they had made a deal. Perhaps it was a fool's dream, but for Yama, what was Kei if not a lovestruck fool. He would wait. Kei would wait, and better himself, and become a respected adventurer, someone worthy of Yama. Kei moved forward with his life and refused to wallow in sadness, but he never moved on.