Sam knew he was in for a rough night, when he'd only been asleep about half an hour and was being forcefully awoken by another bone-chilling scene playing on repeat in his aching brain. He was thankful that his body jolting itself out of sleep and his sharp intake of breath didn't wake his girlfriend, who was sleeping peacefully beside him. He'd stayed awake for a little, calming his breathing; before turning over and just... looking at Kat. At his girlfriend. His beautiful, kind, amazing girlfriend that wanted nothing but the best for him. His beautiful, kind, amazing girlfriend who he couldn't bring himself to sadden with the accounts of what he'd been through in Hawaii. She was so young, innocent- she had a light shining bright from within her and sam didn't want to be the one to dim it with his grim tale of woe. He just- didn't want to scare her. Didn't want her to look at him any differently. To look at the blonde boy and see some, broken man who survived something traumatic and was now left dragging around the memories. She didn't want Kat to see the pain in his eyes, hear the shakiness in his voice whenever he tried to speak about what happened.
Sam wasn't an idiot, he knew Colby had talked Kat through what had happened. But, he left out the details- because after all, she was Sam's girlfriend, and he knew deep down she should find out everything from him. It was his job to do that- he owed her that much. But whenever he'd open his mouth to explain, his brain fogged over, his words stuck in his throat and his hands went clammy and... he just couldn't do it.
Sighing, sam laid back down, closing his eyes, shuffling over slightly to drape an arm over Katrina's frame, smiling to himself when she moved slightly to let her back press against his chest. She hummed in her sleep, and Sam's stomach flipped. He felt like a teenager all over again- that was one of his favourite things about his relationship. Katrina never stopped making his heart flip or making his stomach doing cartwheels. Their relationship was mature, real- but it still had those innocent, child-like aspects that came out in moments like these; the two adults pressed together- warmth bleeding from one body to the other. Sam felt at peace, something that wasn't very common as of lately, and he let all those worries and niggling thoughts that plagued his brain drift away into the night, and with his nose burried in blue, silky hair- he let sleep claim him.
But not for long. He was shook awake by Katrina at god knows what time in the morning. She was smiling sadly at him, her gentle fingers drifting through his hair as he lay on the bed- chest heaving.
"You were screaming again.." she sighed softly. Sam squeezed his eyes shut. God, he was so sick of this. He bet Kat was too. Jesus, how he wished he could just spend the night with his girlfriend like any normal person. Without waking the both of them in the middle of the night. The amount of times his flailing and kicking limbs had thumped against Kat in his sleep and bruised her delicate skin was uncountable. She said she didn't mind, that she liked being there for him- to calm him. Sam just hoped she was being truthful.
The blonde boy didn't realise he was crying, until Kat was laying down next to him, pulling her broken boyfriend into her chest and whispering soothing nothings into his hair. Sam buried his face in her neck, mumbling apologies that somehow got lost in his tears that were dampening the skin of his girlfriends neck and never made it to her ears. He was sobbing- raw emotion leaving his chest and filling the air with the choked noises leaving his throat. Kat had her eyes squeezed shut too, chest hurting as her soulmates pain bled into her heart- emotion drifting between the two in a heartbreaking loop that nobody could seem to break.
It took a while for sam to calm down- and then there was stillness and silence. Sam thought for a second that Kat was asleep, but then a hand shifted through his hair and his suspicions were proved wrong. The blonde hummed, the feeling soothing. He squeezed her tighter, shifting slightly so they were facing each other. Their noses brushed against one another's- breath mingling in the small gap between their lips. Sam sighed, his red rimmed eyes looking gently into Kats, and he let his hand come out and stroke the smooth skin of her cheek- wiping away the tear tracks that had some-what already dried, but he wanted to take away any trace of sadness from her features. God, he was so in love with this girl. His hand stilled slightly, resting against her cheek- and then it finally hit him.
He wasn't telling Kat what happened to him, because he didn't want to scare her- but this, this constant nightly routine of screaming and crying and fucking panic attacks- that was probably scaring her more; because she didn't know what was causing it. She barely knew what made her boyfriend like this- and sam knows she wants to. She wants to understand so fucking much and who was sam to deny her of that. Sam knew Kat loved him- and he loved her. So, Sam took a deep breath.
