what if i love you?

chapter four

Jude's POV...

I woke up with a massive headache. The light made my eyes throb. I reached over for my phone and read the time. 7:23am. I noticed two aspirins and a glass of water on my bedside table. Weylin. I looked at his bed and he wasn't in it. I sat up, grabbed the glass, and swallowed the pills. I walked over to the closet, pulled out a black shirt, kaki pants, and high top converse, and went into the bathroom to shower. 

The water took a whole five minutes to heat up, so in the meantime I called Roslyn. 

"Dude it's like seven in the morning." She yawned when she answered. 

"Yeah meaning you should be up and getting ready."

"You suck. How's college?"

"Well the first day was...interesting in a way. It wasn't the same without you."

"Ugh I know cuz I'm just so cool right? Jude, you're gonna have an amazing time! You're gonna go to parties, hookup with random dudes, take random pills, and drink until your heart explodes. You won't have time to miss me." 

That's where she's wrong. I miss her everyday. Usually she would be at my house early in the morning and drive with me to school. She'd come home with me and have dinner with my family. She is my absolute best friend. My platonic soulmate. 

"You're right, so right." I lied. 

"Okay well I should go and get ready like you said. Text me if you need anything, bye I love you!"

"Love you too." I hung up the phone and hopped in the warm shower. 

Weylin"s POV...

"Drunk!? And you didn't even invite me. How rude." 

"Tar, it wasn't like a party or anything. Just two guys drinking. Nothing special."

"Nothing special? Jude is hot. Like really hot, and you didn't think to invite me over while he was drunk?"

"He's gay! Gay Tara. One hundred percent gay! What would you have done, huh? Taken advantage of a drunk homosexual man? You're a terrible person."

I shouldn't have snapped and I definitely shouldn't have stormed off. I don't exactly know why I've been so...indignant lately, but I have been and I can't change it. 

I shook it off and walked back to my room hoping that Jude was awake and not about to be late for class. I grabbed my keys, unlocked the door and walked in. His sheets were ruffled and the glass was empty. I poured a glass of water and drank it in one big gulp. Then I went over to the bathroom. Right as I walked up to the door, it swung open, hitting me in the face.

"Bloody hell!" 

"Shit man I'm so sorry!" Jude shouted.

I was holding on to my nose, blood dripping down my hand. "Fucking hell Jude!"

"Why were you even standing in the way? Idiot."

"What!? How am I the idiot? You threw the door open absentmindedly!"

"I didn't expect you to be hovering."

Then I noticed Jude's towel slipping from around his waist. His abs were defined, his V-line was defined, everything was defined. The towel fell and I pulled my eyes away, swinging around. 

"Oh god." I said. 

"Sorry. Uh- you can turn around now." He has wrapped his towel back around his waist again. "Look I'm sorry. For hitting the door in your face. You're getting blood on the floor though. Sit down and I'll grab a damp cloth."

I stared at him for a second before doing as he told. I sat down on my bed, still cupping my nose with blood covering my hand. 

"Here," He walked over to me with a washcloth in his hand. He sat next to me and moved my hand from my face, wiping up the blood. "I did this to you, I should clean it up."

I didn't know what to say. I just sat there letting him clean up the blood. His hand grazed my lips, his knee touched mine. I felt warm and weird.

"Thanks, I- I got it from here." I took the cloth into my hands and stood up.

"I am sorry, you know." He placed his hand on the back of my knee momentarily. 

I turned and looked him in the eyes. "I know." 

I knew this apology wasn't only about my nose. It was about what happened at the party in Sophomore year. It was some unspoken double apology. I flashed a smile and went into the bathroom to finish wiping up the blood. 

Jude's POV...

Today couldn't have been worse. First I just about break Weylin's nose, then I run into Dylan and spill my coffee all over him, and now he is shirtless in my bed...under me. 

I was on top of him, straddling him. Our kisses slow, then fast, then slow again. He bucked his hips and turned us over. He was now on top of me. He looked at me and smirked just like he used to. His hand trailed down from the chest to the top of my pants. He slid his hand in and started jerking me off. 

I sat up on my elbows and resumed kissing him, biting his bottom lip. He kissed and stroked and I let little moans and whimpers escape past my lips. Pure heaven. 

"Holy hell!" I heard a voice yell. It wasn't mine, or Dylan's. It was Weylin. "I- I'm so sorry I-" He stumbled back out the door and shut it.

"Fuck," I say while pushing Dylan off of me. "You should go."

"Jude-"

"Go!"

I couldn't even look him in the eyes. I knew what I was doing was wrong, but this was much more wrong. He grabbed his jeans, put them on, gathered the rest of his belongings and rushed out without saying another word. 

Moments after Dylan left, Weylin came back in.

"I'm so sorry I should've locked the door or something." I spit out. 

"It's fine." Although I was pretty sure he was lying.

"Look you can yell at me or hit me or-"

"Just shut up! I'm showering then going to bed."

I said okay and left it alone. 

Weylin's POV...

I can't control myself. Not now. I feel angry and...aroused.