DYING MOURNINGS, original

nineteen : contents revealed

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𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 : 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐃

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My home was cold when I entered. I had forgotten to set the heater, it was always something my mother took care of. It would be strange having to do what she once did, it would be strange for a while.

I kicked off my heels and picked them up, trudging up the steps and towards my bedroom. I dressed into something more casual and took a power nap until my phone was ringing and Pandora was saying she was going to pick me up in thirty minutes for John's party.

I had slept longer than I had anticipated and had makeup smeared underneath my eyes. I fixed what I could and pulled my hair back into it's ponytail from earlier, grabbing a simple black tank top and some jeans. I was done getting ready as Pandora's car pulled up in front of my house. I raced down the stairs, tucking my phone into my back pocket and grabbing a jacket. Inside those pockets, I slid my cigarettes and lighter, knowing that I would need at least one or two to help me get over my constant nerves.

She greeted me with loud music from the base of her car and we sped off. She handed me a bottle of Burnett's, something she wasn't proud of drinking but did it anyways, and said to hide it in my lap until we got to the party.

I hadn't expected John's house to be big, maybe medium sized or smaller, but this wasn't what I had been expecting at all. Much less the rows of cars and the people still streaming their way inside the only house with open doors.

His house was huge, compared to the neighborhood. It had a huge arching doorway and a pointed roof, slanted on one side. It seemed as if ten people could live inside and be completely content. When Pandora got out of the car, she rounded on my side by the grass as I got out, she passed me a shot glass and I noticed she had a matching one clutched in her palm.

"Goals for the night: kiss someone, avoid Blondie, and find a ride home," she grinned, taking the Burnett's bottle from me and pouring a sloppy shot into my glass and then hers. She linked our arms and murmured a small, "Won't go down easy but it'll do the trick."

I nodded with a grin and threw back the shot like it'd been my last. The burn was worse than I had anticipated, never having dared to drink straight Burnett's before until this moment and I nearly lost my stomach all together if it wasn't for Pandora pushing a Gatorade at me. I took a long cooling sip as it chased the warmth down my throat and into the pit of my stomach.

We threw back one more shot just to be safe before tossing the bottle back into her car, safely hiding it of course, and then following the small pack of people making their way up the street.

My head began to feel different as we made it up the front steps and into the house, the lights were off and loud music pulsing from the basement. We got downstairs without a problem and we slid past the groups of people standing at the bottom and near a narrow hallway where a line had formed for the bathroom. There was another hallway to our right with closed doors and I swallowed thickly, I didn't know if I wanted to see what was going on behind those doors, or any door down here to be certain.

"I'm going to get us drinks from the bar, I'll be back!" Pandora shouted over some DaBaby song which ended quickly and "I Gotta Feeling" started playing. I watched her zigzag through the crowd and then suddenly, I was alone.