DYING MOURNINGS, original

sixteen : he wants to become god

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𝐒𝐈𝐗𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 : 𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐃

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John's letter told me this much: meet his associate at midnight, get the cure for Crow or he'll die and/or kill you. As simple and as horrifying as that. Whatever John had done to Crow had made sure if he ever closed his eyes, he'd be taken over by the indescribable need to murder me with his own two hands. But with no sleep meant exhaustion, which meant straining his body to even survive. The cure would relieve him of all murderous tendencies while also granting him the desperation he so craved to heal. John had left him suspended in his own horrific limbo on the bridge of fully healing but never quite reaching the end.

But that would all rely on the fact if I survived the night with whoever John decided to send in his stead, and I had an awful feeling it'd be Conner for a rematch of even Ace, just to laugh in my face. But, considering he sent Jonathan Blood to scare the shit out of me in Clandestine, I wouldn't be surprised if it would be him, either.

There were too many options and I spent the day weighing them with a pros and cons list while trying to hide from Crow.

Eric Conner, pros: I got away from him before, he's arrogant, if he starts talking he doesn't stop.

Conner, cons: I needed help defeating him and it wasn't a real defeat because the two people who helped were on his side pretending, he's stronger than anyone I've ever fought before, I don't have Spiorad for extra help this time.

Ace, pros: none.

Ace, cons: all and above.

Jonathan Blood, pros: I got away from him the first time.

Jonathan Blood, cons: he wasn't there to kill me, I know nothing about him and his fighting skill.

Rubbing my face, I tried to wish the worry away but I would be screwed either way. No matter who showed up, it wouldn't be good.

"You're fucked," a little voice whispered in my ear, threatening me with a headache but not sending me into the gray.

"I know," I muttered at the island, my uneaten breakfast sitting in front of me from hours ago. "You don't have to sound like..."

"A know-it-all?"

"Yes," I grumbled under my breath before Pandora laughed and her presence left my shoulder. I was startled to hear the bedroom door close and Crow approach, I hadn't been aware he'd been standing in the hallway for some time until I heard the sound.

"Talking to yourself?" he asked, cautious in the way he was looking at me. There was no hint of blackness to his eyes but he looked exhausted, bags under his eyes a pretty shade of purple, and his skin paper white. He hadn't been sleeping after I'd given him a passive comment about how he shouldn't close his eyes for a while. But I could tell he'd been sick recently from the black-gray matter against the corner of his mouth. He saw me looking and wiped his lips.

I wasn't sure how much longer her could survive without fully healing. It was only the afternoon and I'd be leaving around ten or eleven. It was too long for us to wait around and do nothing.

"Not to myself," I said, tapping my pen against my lips as I stared down at my paper to avoid looking at him.

"Then with who?"