𝑨𝑬𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑹𝑰𝑼𝑺 𝑴𝑬𝑳𝑨𝑵𝑪𝑯𝑶𝑳𝑰𝑨 •𝒃𝒙𝒃•

a soulmate who wasn't meant to be

AN: Warning, suicidal themes later on. If you're not comfortable, do skip it...please.
_

The sun bloomed on the horizon, its golden petals stretching ever outwards into the pale, pale blue.

Nails dug into his arms, blunt and painful, and he watched the sunlight pierce through the leaves and shrubs, acting out a kaleidoscope, so shimmery and bright. The rays brushed against his skin, over his bareness, but the heat did not reach him for it was weak.

Too weak.

Golden rays circled around him, and the memories he didn't want to recall came to light.
Yo adored summer. He thrived during those times, and the beach was his most beloved place to visit, as much as it was the opposite for Arashi. He'd dig his feet into the heated sand and start ranting about how sand would never disappear. He'd rant about science, and chemistry, and tell Arashi nonsensical things—they were nonsensical to him because he didn't understand them most of the time.

The water would sparkle as it glided over Yo's skin, and he'd look so, so satisfied with life, like he didn't need anything other than summer, the beach, the rough sand and Arashi to keep him company.

You love summer the most.

He did, he really did. It was warmest in those times, and Arashi would be content.

As content as he could be.

I love it, too, and I love-

Nails dug deeper, leaving behind white, crescent marks, and the voice in his head died out.

There came fleeting memories like that, ones that left behind marks that would never fade away. They'd come and remind him of all that had happened, and everything that could not have been prevented. He hated it. There were few things he hated, and this made his insides boil just at the mere thought.

Hey, Arashi?

Yeah?

Do you ever think about us?

He was doing it right now.

Do you ever...wish things went differently?

That-

Because I do.

What an odd thought.

Is it? I...guess it is.

It was. It really was. It was as if it happened yesterday, their fallout. Well, there was no one to blame except Arashi, right? He was the one who took the last step and had the last word. He was the one who decided it was over, right? There was no one else to blame.

That was all there was to it.

And here he was, recalling their past conversations and imagining them in his head, repeating them over and over again.

They were best friends...weren't they? They knew each other for a long, long time, and Yo was there to witness many of Arashi's firsts, as well as vice versa.

First stone skipping. First tree climbing. Yo was with him when Arashi broke his wrist, and Arashi was there when Yo broke his nose. They had even joked about it, Arashi mostly, saying how it was going to be crooked. Yo was devastated, muttering something about his good looks or whatever, but his nose was as good as new when it healed, with no obvious deformities or anything, while Arashi's wrist had a small, thick, white scar on the side of it because the bone had broken through.

Now, other scars littered his skin.

Yo was the one who found him the first time he did it. Arashi was thirteen and he didn't know what he was doing. No, that wasn't the right description, was it? He didn't know why he was doing it. That may be a better one. He was thirteen and he had gotten back home from school. It was winter, a particularly cold one, and the heating was broken, which wasn't news. Perhaps it was because he was cold, too cold, and he knew that pain made his body heat up. Perhaps it brought back bad memories, or something along those lines.