to tame a god | jungkook x reader

05

After taking your frustration out on his body, Jeongguk successfully convinces you to sleep in his bed. He can tell that you're exhausted and upset and that it's why you quietly shut his door behind you with nothing more than a disappointed look his way. Somehow, it's even louder than if you'd slammed it, and his heart can't possibly break anymore.

He retreats to the guest room, but it's difficult to relax enough to the point where sleep is possible. His body aches in a way that's new to him, bones feeling heavy yet light. Like they're hollow.

He's tired, having given you everything he has, but the only reason he's not as mentally sated as his body feels is that he never got anything back. Still, Jeongguk manages to get at least an hour's worth of sleep spread out during the night, and when his phone rings in the morning, he's quick to answer it.

"Hello?" he tests his voice, speaking quieter than he really needs.

"Good, you're still alive," Taehyung's deep voice sighs, relieved.

"Yeah, so far," Jeongguk chuckles. It's sad, he's sad. Silence. And then: "I wish I could just let her go."

"...Why can't you?" It's a careful question, one that reveals both Taehyung's suspicions and his empathy.

"She's my mate, Taehyung."

As soon as the words are out, there's really no going back. No denying it and pretending everything is fine. Well, he'll do that anyway, but Taehyung knows exactly what the revelation means.

"I'm so sorry..."

"Yeah, so I just—I can't. It's killing me inside. You think you know how it is until it happens to yourself, and being the alpha, it's even stronger... Knowing the risk of letting her go, it would be like jumping off a mountain for me."

"Does she know?"

"No, I haven't told her. Don't think I will either. She hates me, and the moment she's free—if we succeed, that is—she might kill me. There's no shot at a happy ending here, never was because she's not a wolf, and I'm a mistake."

"Fuck, I'm so sorry, Jeongguk," Taehyung exclaims, genuine sorrow lacing his words.

"I know, I am too."

"What if we're unable to release her then?"

"I don't know. I'd want her to stay here, of course, so I can take care of her and feed her my blood—by the way, I need to draw some bags of it to keep around if anything were to happen to me—but she'd never agree to stay here. I honestly don't know what I'm gonna do; both options are hell. Actually, all options are. If we find someone to release her, she's gone, and I won't see her again. If we don't, and I let her go anyway or she escapes? I can't live on if she's killed. At the same time, keeping her like this... It's easier, but it's killing me."

"Shit. Just try not to think about it like that. It'll be alright in the end, okay?"

"I'll try," Jeongguk promises. It's what he's trying so hard to do anyway.

"Okay, well, we're still not quite there yet, so hold on, and we'll talk later, alright?"

"Mhm, keep me updated."

"I will, bye."

"Bye."

As he's already awake, Jeongguk decides he might as well do something useful. Like he mentioned to Taehyung, he wants to stack up on bags of his blood in case something happens to him that would leave you without a reliable source of blood.

A phone call later and the necessary equipment is delivered to his door by an unsuspecting pack member. He eyes the young male, knowing pretty much everything that goes on inside his head, and the alpha tries to ignore his bad conscience.