The Lost World of Jenna O'Donnel

Chapter 4: Big Lots

        I frantically turned around in awe.  The way Joey had looked upon me made tears emerge out of my eyes.  No matter how hard i tried, i just couldnt hold them in.  I bursted into tears and slung my arms around his shoulders and held on as i couldn't help but fall to the ground.  By the look on his face, i could tell, he was in as much shock as i was.  After dating for almost a year, not once had i broken down in front of him, unless it was an anxiety attack.  Which rarely occur anymore but once in a while it happens.  

"Joey please!!  I'm so sorry, what i did was wrong. I love you so god damn much, I don't think you'll ever be able to understand how much my heart is dedicted to you."  I wailed as I tried to hold myelf up without his help.

"Jenna... uh..... I um,"

I pondered in my mind,   Oh shit. Jenna you done fucked up this time.  You better be counting your lucky stars and praying to God that he forgives you and has the ability to see behind this waste of a life what he's looking for in you.

" Jenna what, what are you talking about??"

"What are YOU talking about?"

"I was going to talk to you about the whole anxiety thing and see if you were doing okay, because i meant to bring it up earlier but i just remembered now.  So what were you talking about?"

FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK!!!!! I'm so fucking screwed! I don't want to be the one to bring up how i cheated on him with Matt!!!! He's bound to find out one way or another and I'd rather him find out from me than anyone else.  

"Look, Joey.  You remember Jade's party like two weeks ago?"

"The one i couldn't go to because i was grounded?"

"Yeah.. that one.  Look, this is really hard for me to tell you this, but..."

Here goes nothing....

"I made out with Matt at the party.... I'm sorry, and I hope you'll forgive me.  It was really hard for me to tell you this but I just want you to know I love you and you deserve someone better than me.  You are probably extremely overwhelemed by what I'm saying right now, so I'm just going to leave you alone, and go home. Give you some time to think about the words coming out of my mouth.  I totally understand if you break up with me.  Don't be afraid to speak your mind to me. But, I just, I gotta go.  I love you Joey, bye"  

I headed out the door with rage in my heart and tears in my eyes. I struggled to do every little thing like open the door buckle my seatbelt, and put the keys in the ignition, but i somehow managed to drive far off to my favorite get away, Walgreens.  

Wait, no Walgreens isn't my favorite get away, i just stop there everytime i go to my get away a.k.a. the empty parking lot behind Big Lots. I go to Walgreens first, to buy like 3 pints of Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough Ice Cream and a few bottles of Voss water, a bag of Chex Mix, and gum.  Then, i drive to the parking lot, and binge, not only on food, but on Netflix. And then i end up falling asleep, in my car, in a Big Lots parking lot.