Back To You

Chapter one: Saying Goodbye

Rose's point of view

I stood on the beach, with Mum, Dad and Mickey a little way away. I looked around from side to side, and took in my surroundings. The sand was damp, from the tide being in, and the gentle roar of the waves calmed my on-edge body. I looked back at Mum. Maybe it was just a dream, and he wasn't going to show up. She gave me a sympathetic smile, knowing what I was about to do would be the hardest thing I'd ever do in my life. I closed my eyes and sighed, taking in the smell of damp sand and salt. I remembered when we returned from platform one, and the casual talk of chips made me smile. I tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear and wrapped my arms around my cold body. In the corner of my eye, I saw something appear, then disappear, like the flicker of a candle, before it reappeared again. I turned towards it, seeing that oh-so-familiar pinstripe suit and a messy pile of unruly brown hair. I could barely speak, choked upon my many mixed emotions.

"Where are you?" I finally managed to ask. It felt so good to see him again, yet so horrible that it would be the last time.

"Inside the Tardis. There's one tiny little gap in the Universe left, just about to close, and it takes a lot of power to send this projection. I'm in orbit around a super nova. I'm burning up a sun just to say goodbye." He gave me a sad smile, which I returned.

"You look like a ghost." I said, distracting myself from the inevitable, having to say goodbye.

"Hold on." He grabbed his sonic from inside his jacket, and held it up, pressing one of the buttons on the side. He no longer looked like a projection, but like he was on the beach with me. He put the sonic away, and turned his attention back to me. I walked towards him slowly

"Can I?" I raised my hand towards his cheek. I wanted to hug him so much, and bury my head against his chest, or in the crook of his neck, and be submerged in his scent.

"I'm still just an image. No touch."

"Can't you come through properly?" I couldn't help asking, I had to know.

"The whole thing would fracture. Two universes would collapse." His normally bright eyes were saddened. I wanted to be with him so much.

"So?" I choked out, barely holding back the flood of tears threatening to flow from my eyes.

"Where are we? Where did the gap come out?" He shoved his hands in his pockets.

"We're in Norway." I looked down at my feet momentarily, before flicking my gaze back up to him.

"Norway." He inhaled a sharp breath. "Right."

"About fifty miles out of Burgen. It's called 'Dårlig Ulv Stranden'."

"Dalek?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Dårlig. It's Norwegian for bad. This translates as Bad Wolf Bay." I laughed softly, but it didn't sound quite right. "How long have we got?" I asked.

"About two minutes." 

"I can't think of what to say!" I ran my fingers through my knotted blonde hair, trying to dig into my brain to find something to say to stop me from spilling the truth.

"You've still got Mister Mickey, then?" He nodded in the direction of the others

"There's gonna be five of us now. Me, Mum, Dad, Mickey and the baby."

"You're not?" I wanted to nod so badly, to tell him the truth. If I could've I would have screamed it from the rooftops, but if he had found out, he'd have come through without hesitation, and then the universe would have been destroyed. When I'd first found out, I'd lost myself in endless daydreams of me and him, that had ended in me collapsing to the ground in tears, knowing that it would never happen. I am! I am! Just somehow figure it out and find a way! My thoughts were screaming so loud in my head that I though they'd spill out of my mouth.

"No. It's mum." I'm so stupid! "She's three months gone." I should've told him! "More Tylers on the way." I laughed, trying to convince him of the charade my mouth was playing.

"And what about you?" He smiled

"Yeah, I'm back working in the shop." I bit my tongue between my teeth.

"Oh, good for you." He seemed shocked

"Shut up. No, I'm not. There's still a Torchwood on this planet. It's open for business. I think I know a thing or two about aliens." I laughed through the tears that were now falling, streaming messily down my face.

"Rose Tyler, Defender of the Earth. You're dead, officially, back home. So many people died that day and you've gone missing. You're on a list of the dead. Here you are, living a life day after day. The one adventure I can never have." He was now crying like me, imperfect drops falling away, but never landing on the sand.

"Am I ever going to see you again?" I already knew the answer, yet I had to ask, just in case, but I knew that if there was a way, that I would've been with him right then.

"You can't." I let out a massive sob, and wiped away my tears with the sleeve of my jacket.

"What're you going to do?" He now wiped away his own tears, and looked away from me, as if he couldn't take it anymore.

"Oh, I've got the Tardis. Same old life, last of the Time Lords." He grinned, but I could see him inside, breaking down and screaming, crying, pleading for there to be another way.

"On your own?" I couldn't bear the thought of him being alone, walking around the console, instead of dancing and flicking leavers and turning dials at a frantic pace.

"I... I love you." I brought my hands up, and covered my face, as if to hide from what was going on.

"Quite right, too." I lowered my hands and looked back at him. " And I suppose, if it's one last chance to say it, Rose Tyler, I..." Then he was gone. There one second and gone the next. I collapsed down onto my knees, and dug my hands into fists against the moist sand. My body shook with each sob, as I reached out to where he was, hoping that he'd come back. I buried my head in my hands, as my mother ran over, and rubbed her hand against my back.

"Sweetie!" She knelt down next to me, and pulled my face up to look at hers.

"I lied!" I broke down into another wave of sobs, as my dad and Mickey started walking over, with sullen faces. "I told him that it was your baby!" I fell against her body, letting my mother hug me and hold me. "Because If I didn't, then he'd come through, and then the universe would collapse!"

"I am so, so sorry darling." My dad pulled me into his arms, and cuddled me like I was a baby. 

"I'm never gonna see him again and it's all my fault! If I hadn't have just left the lever then-"

"Now don't you give me any of that young lady. It wasn't anyone's fault, now stop blaming yourself."

"But Dad I'm never gonna see him again and I'm having his baby that he doesn't even know exists! I'm so stupid and pathetic!" I stood up and started walking, only to fall again after another round of uneven sobbing struck me down.

"Come on sweetheart, let's go shall we?" Dad helped me up, and I nodded whilst wiping my tears away with the back of my hand. He picked me up, and carried me back to the truck, while I kept my eyes fixated on the spot where he was, but never stood. As we drove away, heading back towards our hotel, I stared out the car window, thinking of what could've been...

AUTHORS NOTE!!!

Heyya guys! I hope you like this chapter and that it made you feel as sad when you were reading it as I was writing it. It's taken me quite a while to figure out a plot line for this novel, as I set up the cover and the title over six months ago, but didn't have the right plan until I came up with one last night, and then wrote it up all in one go tonight. I'd just like to thank ouatfanforever , who this chapter is dedicated to, for being an amazing person, who gives such inspirational comments that help to keep me writing at my best. If it wasn't for this amazing figure who's always there commenting, I don't think that I would've carried on. Thank you!

I'm also going to do the Doctor Who experience in Cardiff soon and I am so excited!

Hope you enjoyed fellow Whovians :p

Amy Xxx