I think I stayed at the clinic for 4 hours. Lorrie decided to drop by at Starhomes because I wanted to talk to her. Its 11 in the evening. Masakit pa rin ang ulo ko at isang litro na ng tubig ang nainom ko. I glanced at the mirror and made time to study myself. Am I changing ? Did I really opted for a change ? If I had known it would turn out like this I wonder if I'm gonna have the same choice. Will I still be determined to finish this ?
How come I didnt know myself this much until making such decision. Seriously ?
Napakurap tuloy ako nang mahalatang tinititigan niya na pala ako kanina pa. Lorrie is at the living room when I went to the kitchen. She is busy with her laptop doing work until this late. I was actually a bit anxious since I told her to come over despite being so busy on her work. Nakakahiya tuloy at nakaistorbo pa ko.
Kanina pa pala ako tulala sa tabi niya hawak yung tasa ng kape at toast na dapat sana ay ilalapag ko sa tabi niya. I came back to my senses and put them on the table quickly. She is frowning at me. She removed her eyeglasses and rested her back.
" River are you okay ? "
" ha, uhm yes. Dont mind me. Anyway, did you told your mom you're coming home late ? "
" yup, Lawrence will drive me back. "
" oh okay "
Naupo ako sa katapat na sofa at sumandal rin. I said I wanted to talk to her and I think I should not waste any more time because I dont want to cause more trouble.
" so uhm Lorrie, you knew about Jared already "
Muntik niya pang maibuga yung iniinom niya dahil sa sinabi ko. She definitely knew this, no doubt. Pinanood ko siyang itabi yung laptop niya at mag-inat habang tumatawa.
" you finally decided to confront me about that ? I thought it will never gonna happen. "
Alright I knew this. Alam niya nga matagal na. I cant help but to laughed at myself too.
" how can I even do that ? I bet you're laughing at my whole being right now. Well fine, kinain ko nga mga sinabi ko. I'm still seeing Jared. And he's always here. Like very often Lorrie. He even slept here, I think twice now. "
She enjoys laughing at her seat while I heaved a deep sigh because of frustration. She really likes to toy around people. Since ako naman ang nagmukang katawa-tawa dito dahil ang lakas ng loob kong sabihin noon na wala na kami ni Jared, and yet here I am.
" why did you suddenly confesses this to me River ? I mean what particular reason that made you do it ? Bakit mo naman naisip na alam ko na ? "
" because you're not asking ? You never said a thing about me and the break up that we had. Its weird considering how you always take sides with Jared because you guys are close friends "
" hey I never took sides when dealing with you two. Its just- I mean you dont know how I felt about it when you guys are on it. I cant take sides because both of you matters to me "
That made me stopped for a while and absorb the thought. Well that was touching. I didnt expect to hear that tonight.
" so whats for me now Lorrie ? Will you cut me down financially and let me earn for myself ? What would you do ? "
" I wont do anything. Its up to you guys. "
" What ? I dont get this. Since when did you knew about it though ? You talked to Jared ? "
" River, I wont introduce Jared to you if I didnt trust him. I wont let him do all of these if I dont like him for you. He's my friend. And I was really sad when you broke up with him without giving him a chance to explain. But you see, hindi ko na pinakialaman ang bagay na yun kahit na gusto kong magka-ayos kayo. You might think I am tolerating him and I was blinded by our friendship that it affects my judgement. So I let it be. But believe me, Jared doesnt want to lose you. He was saying it all to me River. Everything that he does. He's asking permission before he goes visiting you. Although there is this one time when he told me he slept with you and forgot to tell me right away. He texted me the next morning though. Well ano pang magagawa ko ? Nakatulog ka na dyan Jared. May bago pa ba ? "
