i slept | jaeyong

midnight skies

f o u r

the next day, all that we did was to talk about how we spent the day. how we got full with the food we ate, how we enjoyed to watch the sun set, how we loved our own kisses and cuddles on the seaside.

it was all about clear skies and sunshines, i am getting afraid.

are dark skies and thunderstorm are coming?

it won't, right?

🦋

tonight, taeyong said that he want to go out alone. i asked why because he isn't the type of guy who goes out all by himself and he just said with a frown, "things changed, jaehyun." i just thought that he wants to think about himself. but what? so i just replied, "okay. i will make dinner, okay? i'll wait for you." and he nodded and left.

now, dinner hours passed already. earlier, i thought that he just lost track of time. but now, it isn't normal to be outside all by himself. especially when someone is waiting for him. i messaged him and asked where he is without wanting to sound mad or what.

while waiting for his reply, i found a handwritten letter above the drawer.

how come i didn't notice it earlier?

and why is the writing so familiar?

i opened it,

To Jaehyun,

Love, I wrote a song or poem for you. After this, you'll know that I knew something.

"knew what?"

The midnight skies I see,
I knew that  loving isn't easy.
But there's a man right there made it easy.
Future with him is all I see.

"is he talking about me?"

Love, listen. I'll guarantee...
that we'll be forever until we're ninety-three.
I don't want somebody,
somebody that won't bring me to the sea.
————————————-

i am sure he put in a lot of effort to achieve this poem. i recall inviting him to write a song and him giving up at the last minute. and thinking about it, made my vision blurry. as if it want to cry. and i am having a hard time to breathe too.

why? why does it hurt so much?

how can i find someone like him? besides, even i found someone like him, i would only choose him and him only.

but the next thing i've read, made me tear up.

hardly.

sobs can be heard. i didn't cry like this when we broke up before.

i continue reading his letter,

Love, this isn't real. We aren't real. I'm not sure if we are, but I hope we are.
Without you, I couldn't imagine my life. If this is our second chance, I'd be ready to die for us to have a happy ending. I'd give my life for the chance to see you smile like before. I, Lee Taeyong, will spend the rest of my life with you.

I've missed you, my Jaehyun.

Just tell me if you are willing
to spend the rest of your life with me.

and I will fight for us,

even if my life is needed.