Remotely Chaotic

one | rotten blueberries

^art credits to powerdragonmoon on Tumblr.

TWO YEARS have gone by since she left. It's been two years since the girl I always wanted to stop following me, asking me for picnic dates, stalking me, left. I would've felt joy until right after I lost her, I lost my princess too. Princess Justice. The fiercest partner I could ever have. I was in love with her, but I didn't realize it until she finally left. It hurt, but I could tell she had a soft spot for me. I knew she always loved me back, but she kept telling me over and over that there was someone else. Little did I know, that someone was me.

Her finding out my identity was one of the worst moments that ever happened in my life.

= TWO YEARS BEFORE =

Bridgette ====

There he stood. The boy I'd loved for years, standing before my eyes in the same spot Chat Blanc was in a few seconds ago.

We never really knew each other's identities, I worked for Muyura, he worked for Hawk Moth, but somehow we never saw each other unless assigned on missions together.

"See princess? Now you see me as I truly am." He looked in my eyes for reassurance and we both waited for my stolen miraculous to time out.

After what felt like 10 years, I detransformed back into my civilian self.

He looked somewhat disappointed, excited, and shocked at the same time. However, I only caught a small glimpse of him, considering my eyes were glued to my shoes.

I knew I should've been happy, but I'd just gotten over Felix, a boy who'd shut me down and treat me like I didn't exist.

I'd always dreamed of this moment. The fact that Chat Blanc was really Felix would usually made my heart skip a beat, so why was I so angry?

"H-How could you.." I finally managed to get out. The emotions inside me were scrambled and messy like the eggs I had that morning.

He looked confused, a look I didn't usually see the condescending, straight-A student do too often.

I didn't let his facial expressions get the best of me as I continued to think of all the valid points my best friend Alya stated earlier that afternoon.

Alya made the true visual of Felix clear to me, he clearly wasn't a good person.

Felix slowly damaged me, broke me down, and now he wants to be with me? The whole reason I starting loving Chat was because he treated me differently than Felix did. Why did I think he was so perfect before? If he was this cruel to me before he knew I was Princess Justice, how would he treat me in a relationship?

"Huh?" he responded hesitantly.

"You treated me badly Felix, and I thought you were better than this!" I snapped back. "Of course as soon as I fall in love with Chat, he turns out to really some asshole like you!" I couldn't control the words coming out my mouth as I watched Felix's confused expression fade into a heartbroken daze. I hated seeing him like that, but all that undiscovered rage emerged out in such a way that I couldn't control.

I cursed him out for the longest, not giving him a chance to speak. I told him what a worthless being he was and that nobody would ever love him, all things he's said to me before, but I was too blind to realize how powerful those words were.

I finished speaking and before he could even get a word out I quickly ran away, stealing a bike off the street and pedaling as fast as I possibly could. I could hear him calling my name, I could hear the buses, the trains, and feel the rain droplets merging with my uncontrollable tears as they rolled down my cheek. I couldn't look at him anymore, I had to stay away, I had to disappear.