Maybe one day - Tom Holland (English)

What Dreams are made of...

Tom, my dear Tom, I will never be able to express how much I adore you, how much I always wanted to see you happy, how much I admire you.

I loved every second of the last days, ever since you kissed me in that hall that all I am is fireworks, feel your hand on my skin, every hug, run through the streets of London beside you, oh Tom it was everything I most wanted in life. And I was happy, I was so happy, all I wanted was to feel you close to me, to be able to dry your tears, to laugh at hearing your contagious laughter and to see your eyes shine and to be able to feel myself more and more proud of you.

My love, I had gone to buy a frame so that you also had that precious photo, I had never seen you so happy, and everything was magic. I thought you felt the same way, that you also wanted to walk hand in hand down the street, you wanted to dance, and kiss me at night, and I wanted to scream that I love you, but that is not possible, and I will always ask myself why it cannot be like that because I'm yours Tommy, I always have been.

Carolina always knew that it was you for me, there would be no one else Tom, there will be no one else, and then something happened that I never even dreamed of, my best friend and my sweet Tommy, together, and I died Tom, I gathered all the strength I had left to get out of there and be able to collapse away from you. I wasn't going to be the one to stop you two from being happy, even if it killed me a little more each time I saw you with her, I would give up everything to see you happy.

I dreamed of this day so many times, but I never thought it would be for these reasons, nor in this way, but Tom, yes, I am completely in love with you, so do what you want with me, love me, despise me, hate me, but please don't try to fix my soul if you are not going to stay. But if I had to decide, I'd ask you to stay, to try to correct the mistakes of the past, because my memory hurts, but it hurts even more not to have you in my life.

Tears stream down my face and my Tommy looks me straight in the eye studying every detail, the fear and happiness that remains inside me and without delaying he answered me, and I was silent and surprised.

I didn't know you felt that way, I thought you were going to be another crazy fan winning a crazy contest, you were just going to want fame, an autograph and little more. But you were the only person who looked at me and saw me as I am, confused, in pieces, hurt, desperate, and at rock bottom. You saw what tormented me without me having to say anything, and I felt comfortable, at home and acted without thinking about what I would be doing to you, or anyone, if I kissed you at that moment all my ghosts would disappear, and the truth is that they did disappear. But the problem was still there, I didn't know who I was, I no longer saw myself as a human being, I was more of a machine created by the film industry, and I followed my role, and what would a star be without a scandal? And Carolina was there, wearing a towel when I entered the room, it was the perfect opportunity, I just followed what was expected from me.

I didn't even realize that you had seen everything, but when later I heard your broken voice and read your little testimony, blurred by the tears I caused, I realized the shit I had done, and I will never be able to erase it, and if regret would kill i would be dead at this point. How could I hurt you?

Your look is so sweet, concerned and attentive, you saw in me what I no longer saw, you brought me back to reality and I will never be able to thank you for what you did for me in these 3 days, I adore you, I will always adore, but I cannot promise you that I will not break your heart again. I can't promise something that I can't keep, but I can stay, I want to stay, I want to fight my demons and if you still want me I would like to have you by my side. Yes, I can promise that I will clean the tears that insist on falling, I promise to hold you when you fall, I promise to try to correct the past and soothe your pain, I promise to be here, as long as I can, I promise to be by your side, and when you don't want me anymore, I promise to let you go.

But while I am here I promise to give you the world, the sun and the moon so I can see you smile like when we ran away from the park guards, or like when I had ice cream on my nose and you laughed at me, there was nothing else in the world beyond your laughter.

I, I, I think I love you Lia!

And that was it, I was even more sure that it was him, it would always be my Tommy.