feelings - jjk.kth

27 - hospital room

no one's pov

jungkook woke up to the sound of distant talking and tears, and the odd smell of a hospital room.

'augh, where am i,' were his thoughts as he tried to get up, only to be pulled back by the wires that he now realized were connected to his hands. he was too befuddled to make sense out of the situation.

he closed his eyes as his head laid on the cold, white pillow.

then he remembered.

taehyung.

"taehyung!" his eyes flew open as his current state changed to panicked in a matter of seconds.

in that moment, the tears started. jungkook hadn't cried in months.

'taehyung, i'm so sorry,'  he stared up at the white ceiling and let the tears fall.

'if i only i could protect you. this is all my fault.'

"i don't deserve you," he shakily whispered.

~~~

"ah, i see you've woken up." a tall woman with dark brown hair tied in a messy bun entered the hospital room, clip board clutched in her hands.

jungkook was still staring at the ceiling, not uttering a word.

seulgi straightened her white lab coat, confused look on her face. "um, sir, are you okay? you have visitors. they've been here for quite a while, actually." she tilted her head and scratched it.

"how long have i been here?" jungkook asked, eyes still on the ceiling.

"um, 2 days. not that long though, some people have woken up after months. can you believe that?" seulgi's fast and poppy personality guided her off track.

"where is he?" jungkook's eyes were practically glued to the ceiling.

"sorry. i don't think i heard you correctly. may you please repeat that?" seulgi pouted and tilted her head in confusion.

jungkook moved his head to his side, eyes now on seulgi, straight face still on.

"where is he?"

"who? please tell me." seulgi could see shear sadness and desperation in jungkook's eyes, despite his straight face and her smiley personality.

"where's taehyung?" jungkook's words came out broken, just like his heart.

"um, let me ask your friends." seulgi awkwardly turned around and walked out of the room.

"no, d- don't," jungkook shakily said and reached out one of his hands as much as he could, but seulgi was already out of the room. 'they're gonna think i'm a disappointment, i couldn't protect him.'

meanwhile (hospital hallway)

jin, namjoon, yoongi, hoseok, and jimin were scattered around the section of the corridor around jungkook's hospital room. each of them barely spoke. 

hoseok was alternating from sitting on the waiting bench, then standing, trying to hold back tears like everyone else. well, almost.

the only person who wasn't holding back his tears was jimin, his state was of someone who believed they had no reason to live anymore. (we all have a reason to live i love you okay 😤) his close friend, jungkook was on the verge of losing all of his blood just a day ago, and his best friend since childhood was missing. 

suddenly the door to jungkook's room opened. they all turned their heads toward it.

"hi, the patient is asking where taehyung is? i'm not sure who that is, so i- um came to ask you," seulgi asked, friendly grin on her face.

'taehyung?' jin thought. 

"oh no," jimin got up. "how are we going to tell him?"

"i don't know! and why is jungkook asking about taetae?" jin raised an eyebrow.

seulgi's grin faded. "i'm not sure i understand. who is taehyung? i don't want to butt into your personal business but the patient-"

"it's okay, dr. kang, taehyung is one of our close friends, and h- he-" jin stuttered.

"he's missing." namjoon interrupted, rubbing jin's back. at this point, it didn't matter who was comforting who.

"oh- well the patie- jungkook seems pretty serious and uh- devastated about that matter." seulgi said as she thought about how she was going to tell jungkook.

"what? about taehyung?" hoseok scoffed.

"can i tell him?" yoongi joined the discussion.

jimin looked up at yoongi in sadness and disbelief. "wha- yoongi. it's okay, you don't have t-" 

"i need to talk to him. please dr. kang," yoongi averted his eyes from jimin to seulgi.

"oh- well- in that case. proceed." seulgi politely gave space for yoongi to enter the hospital room.

——————————

okay, i have a few things to say.

i was diagnosed with covid on march 13th, literally a day after my previous update. that's why i haven't been updating, im so sorry, i was so wrecked. 

luckily, it's gone now, and i can move on, please don't worry about me.

another thing,

bts already has a new comeback coming on april 2nd im in pure shock ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!

"film out" was written and produced by kookie as well <33333

"bts, the best", im not ready. (i never am, they keep attacking us)

~ much love, bonnie 💜💜