"I love you." [Not continuing, will rewrite.]

Chapter 12 | Anything for you

!warning!
This one is completely written from Adora's perspective. (Except some parts which describe Adora and her @buse/psych, and a certain other part)
Description of v!olence, @buse, etc...
Thoughts of su!c!de and past attempt
Selfh@rm
I will not censor anything in this chapter
This very angsty
You know like, really dark.

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All she could feel was the lack of oxygen. Her body trying to get out of the firm grip at some point. And there it was, her head lifted aggressively, but she could breathe, but just for a few seconds and she was pushed down again.

This is one of the punishments she hated the completely most. When her Mother filled the bathtub with water, forced her to kneel in front and then pushed her head into the water.

It was nothing new. But it didn't make her hate it less.

"I fucking hate you! You don't deserve anything, I don't know why I didn't kick you out of this house yet!"

Because you need me.

"You're so worthless, you can't do anything right! Are you even trying!?"

I'm trying so hard, mom.

"You aren't even bringing me any money in this house anymore! Gambling or who knows for what bullshit you threw it out the window for!"

You made me lose my job,,, I had to use the money to try to pay for the bill you missed..

"You don't deserve the oxygen on this planet, you're just wasting it!"

...... I know.

"The only thing you deserve is this!"

I know.

"You have no idea what I am doing for you! You're worthless,, and still I am having you here! You fucking bitch!"

I KNOW.

"No wonder your father left, it's your fault. Everything is your fault."

I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I KNO-

"You should have died!"

"I KNOW!!"

The words Adora screamed the moment she got air made her mother suddenly silent.

"I KNOW, I FUCKING KNOW. I'M NOT ENOUGH AND I'M SO SORRY. I'M SO FUCKING SORRY, MOM! I AM THE WORST DAUGHTER AND I DON'T DESERVE ANYTHING GOOD! I KNOW HOW HARD YOU TRY AND I'M SORRY.. I'M SO SORRY-!!"

She screamed again between coughs and choking noises from the water and her own tears.

And just for a moment, her mom's expression softened. She leaned down and cupped her daughter's face,, lovingly.

"Oh my dear,, I know. That's why you have to try and be better you know? You will thank me for this one day.. what mommy does is always best for you." She patted the blonde's head, twirling her hair betwern her fingers.

"But I shouldn't have said that you should die.. mommy is sorry. That was a bit too much. Now let's get you patched up, mk? And then we go to a diner.. let's get some food shall we? I love you." She kissed Adora's forehead before grabbing her wrist and pulling her up, despite the wincing in pain by her daughter at that action.

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She always was like this. It was like a game, a game Adora didn't know she was played in.

It didn't matter at all which order this was happening. This time it went like this:

A mistake, Adora made a mistake last week. She wasn't allowed to leave the house for a week now, nor have any contact to the outside world. (Also the reason she lost her job.)