Undercover

Chapter XIII: The worst day of my life.

Warning/disclaimer: this chapter contains strong language, suicidal talk, and grief. This may be triggering to some readers.

Whitey dragged me out of the church and picked me up cradling me. At first I didn't realise what he was doing so I was compliant but then I glanced back at her body and everything began to register. I pinched my skin, once, twice,  a third time, I was silently begging that I would wake up and she would still be with me.
I began to yell and push, shove and squirm, trying desperately to get back to her. He squeezed me tighter. I couldn't take it.

I bit his neck, in a desperate attempt to escape.

He dropped me on the ground.
I got up and began running back to her!
I was so close, he grabbed my waist and squeezed me against himself trying to get me away from her body.
My mother stood over her watching me struggle.

"LET GO OF ME! I'll never forgive you Whitey! LET GO!" I screamed at him viscously. I knew what I was saying was cruel but I didn't care.

He wouldn't let go.
"SHE'S GONE" he said sadly.

"GET AWAY FROM HER!!" I screamed so loud I could feel my voice going hoarse.
My mother was just standing there doing nothing.
She was the reason we even came to this shit place anyway!

I fought Whitey ripping his hands off me, but he would just keep on holding me still there on the ground, clearly trying to get me to release all of my adrenaline.

Naomi came up and calmed me down a bit.
I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe and Naomi and Whitey were doing everything they could to help me.

I broke free of them and sprinted to her body.

I hugged her...I never wanted to let go.

When everyone finally realized that I wasn't gonna let go until I was ready they left. Except for Whitey, he stayed beside me.
My face was resting on her stomach my arms gripping her sides begging for her to breathe and move about again.

Whitey sat behind me and stroked my hair as I tried to breathe.

About an hour after, I stood up and walked out of there.
I was completely silent and Whitey was very surprised. He stood as well and following me.
I once I got outside into the moonlight I turned to face him.
He looked at me tears in his eyes.
I wasn't crying...

I took my gun out of it's holster and pointed it at him.

"You, if you would have let me stand in front of you maybe I would have died, not her!"

"I know... I'm sorry. But, Sophie, there's nothing we can do now, we have to mourn and move on." He said.

"...Just put the gun down." He pleaded me.

I moved it from his head to my temple, and began to cry.

"I don't want to live in a world if she's not there." I said numbly.
Tears rolled down his face.

"Sophie, Cora gave her life for us. She didn't give it for us to die anyway." He said through a muffled voice.

"I don't care! Do you understand? I HAD NO ONE!
NO ONE! Except her. My own mother trained me to be a f**king killing machine before a girl, and Cora-...Cora made me feel...human." I said wanting so hard to let go of this pain.