idiots to lovers | ONC 2021 | completed

16. different?

Chapter 16

A few weeks passed since Kevin has been acting weird. Nothing has come up to therapy, although I'm sure doctor Santiago can feel my bad mood. After that hard rejection, I didn't push Kevin further.

We've been spending the nights making out before falling asleep, and I hate it. We could be doing more—it's not a must, but c'mon, not even once? And for what? He doesn't even want to tell me that.

Kevin's touch warms me up. His hand is on my knee, unconsciously drawing circles with his index finger. I shift my gaze to Doctor Santiago, who is typing something on her iPad before looking at us.

I cross my arms over my chest, making the doctor frown. "What's bothering you, Nöelle?"

"I'm not sure yet."

She smiles. "I think you are. It's been weeks already. I don't think I can pretend to not see it when you're such an open book."

I glance at Kevin, catching his green eyes already staring at me. I can feel my face heat up before I even have to open my mouth.

"Kevin doesn't want to sleep with me."

His hand halts. I refuse to look in his direction. It takes a moment for the doctor to recollect herself. She turns off her iPad and slides her reading glasses to the top of her head, silently letting me know that the conversation that's about to happen will be. . . interesting.

"Why are you saying that?" she asks.

"Because it's been weeks since we're doing the soul-gazing and more cuddles exercises, and he hasn't laid a finger on me." I look at Kevin. His plump lips are set in a thin line, and he can't stop glaring at me.

"Did you try to let him know that you want to sleep with him?"

My face flushes at the vivid memory of me trying to do at least a handjob before he pushed me away.

I nod. "Absolutely."

"Oh, now that's bullshit. You did nothing," Kevin intervenes, the tip of his ears tomato red.

I gape at him. Does he have short-term memory? I shake my head. "It is not true, and you know it."

"Oh, c'mon, Nöelle."

"My hands went under. . .your shirt, Kevin," I say, not being able to be blunt with the doctor listening to us.

"A lot of girls' hands went under my shirt, but I still didn't shag them."

"Yes, but I'm not other girls, I'm your girlfriend, and we talked about it. Don't give me the amnesia thing. You know what I'm talking about."

"I told you I wasn't ready."

I glare at him. "You never told me why. I just need one good reason. That's it."

His dark eyebrows knit. "If you want to have sex so bad, then we should just break up."

My heart drops. "It's not the fact that I want to have sex so bad as you put it. It's the fact that you won't tell me why the fuck you don't want to do anything. You went down on me, but I can't do the same?! That's bullshit."

"Alright," the doctor butts in, "I think I've heard enough."

I tear my shiny gaze away from him.

"There are many reasons as to why someone decides to not take a step further. I don't want to force the words out of Kevin, but from what I'm seeing, Nöelle is ready to take the next step, but you're not. Correct?"