not the end | DNF |

5 - Waiting for You

My face physically ached from smiling so much over the last three days. I was going to see Sap and Dream in real life in one and a half weeks. After nearly 5 years of streaming together, calls, texts, even face times (only with Sapnap or with Dream aiming his camera to the roof of his bedroom), I was finally going to meet the faces behind the screens. The screens that had represented my best friends in the entire world, in less than two weeks those screens would be torn down and I would be able to see them in 4k.

I would be able to see every little mark and blemish on their faces, I would be able to smell them and just enjoy the scent of them as people.

I would be able to hear their voices clearly, crisp as the cold winter wind, and it would remain fresh in my mind for the rest of my life.

I would be able to reach out and touch them, I would be able to physically remind myself of their existence by moving my arm and feeling that they were there, right next to me.

I would be able to hug my favourite people, I could wrap my long arms around them both and never let go, refusing to break the physical bind that I had been so desperate to create since the week I first met the two of them.

I couldn't wait to see them in person, to just simply relish in their existence in my presence. The thought both calmed me, excited me, and stressed me out an unnecessary amount.

Every time I spoke to them on stream it got harder and harder not to tell them. As the number of days remaining slowly decreased, I started slipping up more and more often, causing me to question their intelligence after their lack of realization in the fact I had pretty much revealed it to them on at least three occasions.

For example:

Sapnap – Ewwww my hair is so greasy lately and I don't fucking know why, I wash it like all the time.

George – Sapnap please tell me you aren't using three in one shampoo.

Sapnap – No of course not, I'm not out here trying to destroy the shit out of my hair, I guess this shampoo just doesn't work on my hair.

George – You are a literal child. Am I seriously going to have to buy you hair products like I'm your mother when I come over?

Sapnap – Huh?

George (now extremely embarrassed and worried he spilled the beans for the last time) – Oh nothing doesn't matter! Anyway, back to Sapnap's disgusting hair, how greasy on a scale from 1-10, 1 being fluffy as fuck just blow-dried it, 10 being yo I'm a freshman who thinks slicking their hair back like a character from grease is cool?

And again:

*on a discord call while Dream and Sap play bedwars*

Dream – DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! OH MY FUCKING GOD HELP ME SAPNAP I'M DYING HERE!

George - *laughs*

Sapnap – NO YOU DESERVE TO DIE YOU FORGOT TO MAKE ME LUNCH TODAY!

George – Oh my god I can't wait to see this in person, I'm actually going to lose it.

Dream – Wait, wait, wait, hold the fuck up, when are you going to see this in person? ARE YOU COMING OVER??!!

George (once again getting flustered and embarrassed) – NO, NO, NOPE just, ya know, when I do eventually, when the weather clears up I guess *laughs nervously to draw attention away from conversation*

Basically, as it turned out, I was absolutely terrible at keeping secrets. Not because I wanted people to 'accidently' find out so it made it easier for me to tell people things, but because I genuinely forgot, first of all that they weren't supposed to know, and secondly how to lie to them, because I hadn't had a serious reason to in over 2 years.