Made of clay

For Now

Clay pov:

I couldn't take it I ran, and before I knew it my legs took me back to techno's house, I knew i was about to do something stupid but I needed something, anything.

"You were right" I said as soon as techno opened the door, he let me inside and gave me a cup of water "I'm not thirsty" I say "it's vodka" techno snickers, I quickly gulp it down and ask for another "woah tiger, don't get addicted" I push the cup into his hand "I won't I just need to get stupid!" I shout feeling angry.

I didn't know who I felt angry at, angry at myself? Angry at nick? Even at George's dad, it was so stupid. The only person I couldn't be angry at was George, and he doesn't love me anymore.

"Hey clay?" Techno asks as he hands me another cup "what" I bark "you know I'm different now. I'm better" he mumbles "techno you know what you did broke me" I sigh "I'm sorry" he whispers "can you honestly tell me I'm the only person you've ever wanted to be with? Like the way I fe-" I stop myself, I knew what I was going to say, but if I said his name out loud I would run again, anything to get away from my problems.

"What if instead of thinking of the past we live in the present then worry about the future when it comes?" Techno asks "that was surprisingly nice" I admit "well... I am an English student" he laughs "I guess I can live in the present" I whisper as our heads slowly get closer together to the point where I can feel his breath on my lips "I'm sorry techno" I back away "I can't love you again, ever again" I try to say but it came out as a meek whisper "I know clay... I've known for a while we were never meant to be but I couldn't let you go, I kinda hoped we could do something. Anything one more time for closure" techno sighs "yeah ok" I finish as I connect our lips. The vodka had definitely taken over however I needed something like this.

I heard a knock at the door and I felt techno back away to go to open it but I pushed him back, making him fall back on his sofa with me on top 'I know whose there. I can't see him' I thought as I continued to kiss techno.

A few moments pass and the knocking stops and so do I. I sit up next to techno "if I'm being honest clay, George's loves you, what he did with nick was shitty but he was willing to get beat up by me just to see you in hospital, I don't know why I'm trying to help him. I suppose it's just cause I wanna see you happy I guess" I open my mouth to speak however techno kisses my cheek and continues "go get him you idiot". So I ran again, this time towards my main issue, hoping I could do something right today.