Admirable

PART 16

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He grabs the ice pack from my hand and walks over towards my night stand to set it there. I'm left sitting on the bed alone as he starts pacing around the room. He stops right in front of me and kneels down so that we are at eye level. His breathing was rapid when he was pacing but now it's starting to settle. He wraps his arms around my waist and leans his head against mine. I don't want to move, I want to stay like this for a while. But he has other motives, he gets up and sits behind me. He brings me onto his lap and I'm now curled up against him.

"Before I tell you what happened I want you to know that I had no involvement, I didn't know Tony then. I found out months after I had met him. When I found out I didn't associate with him for years. He was a bully and I didn't have a lot of friends then. He started to act like my friend but when I told him about a girl I liked he would find a way to take them from me. I didn't have a lot of self esteem and confidence so I let him do as he pleased. I didn't hit a growth spurt then and I wasn't sure if I wanted to take him on."
I'm scared of what John is going to tell me, I just let him continue.
"Now please don't tell anyone about this ok?" I want him to trust me
"I won't, you can trust me."
Ok,...about three years ago, I lived in North Carolina. Tony lived in North Carolina then too, we were neighbors but I didn't really know him, I've just heard of him around the neighborhood and all. Well one weekend he invited me to a party that him and a group of his friends were planning on going to. I found out that his mom forced him to invite me, since she pitied my existence. The party was at a college kids house, and there was liquor involved. Everyone knew this one girl named Tiffany and they thought of her as being a 'goody goody', since she never drank and never did anything immoral. Well everyone betted Tony to go talk to her get her drunk and mess around with her. He ended up getting her drunk and he was able to get her to follow him into one of the bedrooms."
"Oh my goodness!" My hairs are now on edge, and I'm feeling the pain for that poor girl.
"Wait nothing went too far, her best friend had found out what was happening and ran into the room before something really bad could happen. No one knew but Tiffany actually had a really aggressive older brother and he wasn't the one you should mess with. It got out that Tony almost had her way with her and that her brother was going to find him and hurt him. Her family wanted to take it to the authorities and get him arrested. But since Tony's father is like filthy rich he found a way out of it. Tiffany was mortified that all of this had happened to her, and she lost a couple of her friends along the way. She had a pretty tough year and her parents thought that it would be in her best interest to move. The last thing I heard was that she moved to Washington, but I can't be sure. Me and Tony's parents thought it would be in our best interest to move to Delaware, to you know get away from that atmosphere."
I have been trying to process this whole situation and I'm completely in shock.
"Are you ok? Maybe I shouldn't have told you this."
"N-No, I'm ok...I'm glad you told me."
"Do you understand why I tell you to stay away from Tony? I don't want that to happen to you, I know it's been a couple of years since then but I still don't trust him." I could sense the pain in his voice and all I want to do it kiss the pain away. He looks like a kid right now, the boy who found out that a partial friend conflicted emotional and physical pain on someone.

I'm trying to picture Tony as being that kind of person but I can't.

"If you said that you really weren't that good of friends with him, why burden yourself with this?" I know it's a stupid question but I want to know. He starts to tense up.
"I owe him that."
What does he owe him? I want to know, I want to know everything about him, but I can't, I won't force myself upon him.

We sit there in silence for a couple of minutes and I have this feeling that John is reliving his past. I don't want him to remember this, I fear that there is more to this story that he's not telling me. I sit on his lap this time facing him. I look into his gorgeous eyes and wonder how I've come to have the pleasure of calling him mine. He looks at me but his eyes don't meet mine like I want them too. I hold his face into both of my hands and touch my forehead against his.

"I will protect you, I will protect you from these bad memories."

I see the corners of his mouth move up into a smile. And I know he's laughing at me, but I don't care. I press my lips gently to his and I want him to forget. Forget everything that happened today and just remember this moment. He wraps his arms around my waist and pushes me closer to him. His lips are so soft and delicate. He brings his hand up to my face and rubs his rough fingertips against my cheeks. He brings his thumb and moves it over the bottom of my lip, which sends shivers down my spine. He moves his lips along my jaw line and I can't help but smile. He's cool breath touches my neck and makes goosebumps. I wrap my arms around his neck and bring him into a hug. This is the only thing I will force him to do. I will force him to let me in. No one should have to relive their past everyday just by looking at someone.
The way John looks at Tony explains the disgusted expressions he gives him. I can't imagine how John felt when he walked in on me and Tony holding hands. I want to ask John 'what are we' but I feel like this is not the best time. 'It never will be' I think to my self. John brings my hand into his and stares at them.

"They fit perfectly." He says it like he wants to believe its true.
"Yeah they do." I reassure his discovery.

"You know I would never let anything happen to you, right?"
"Yes."
"I mean it Ariah..."
"I know you do."

We sit in silence for a couple of minutes just thinking.

"What are we?" The words just fumbled out of my mouth so fast I couldn't think to hold them back.
"What?"
"What are we."
"Well.. Umm...I already told everyone that your mine...so."
"Are we dating?"
"Ha, Ariah I haven't even taken you on our first date yet."
"Oh yeah, seems like a long time ago when I first met you..."
"Yeah it does."