The Heart of the matter

Prologue

"Grey, you go home." Her superior called her name. Ellis looked up in surprise as Dr. Jensen told her to go home. "You're done for this day." "But ..." Ellis started to protest almost immediately. "Don't even get me started, Grey. You do exactly as I say. You should have stayed home weeks ago." Her superior was annoyed at her. Ellis Grey rolled her eyes but didn't reply. Except: "Yes, sir." "Glad you can follow orders ..." He replied ironically. Her fellow residents were looking at her condescending and patronising. As if she wasn't fit to do her job. But they were wrong. Ellis Grey didn't know what to reply. Why are they thinking about sending her home? Ok, she was due in almost three weeks and any other woman would have stopped working a long time ago. But this was Ellis we're talking about, she was going going to work until she couldn't anymore. But right now, she was so tired. Her baby had been kicking her a lot. Normally, she would have liked it but when it was interfering with her being able to work, she didn't know if it was that good. Today, she was forced to leave the operating room room due to the fact that she hasn't been able to concentrate with her baby using her bladder as a punching ball. She sighed as she switched from her scrubs into normal street clothes. "Ellis?" When she heard a man's voice, she looked up only to see Richard Webber standing there. "You're going home?" He asked, his brows her knitting in concern. Ellis huffed, she still thought that they're being ridiculous with sending her home. If she was going to have a medical emergency concerning her baby she'd be much safer in the hospital than at home.

Of course she'd done her research about stress on the baby while working, placenta previa, and all other kinds of scary things that might necessitate a Caesarean section. Ellis knew the odds, but of course she got carried away with her work, as it is her real love. But right now she was just tired and wanted nothing more than to lay down in an on-call room. But instead she had to go home as per her bosses orders..

"Ellis?" The voice repeated. "Yeah?" She turned around, only to see Richard standing there, a smile on his face. "What are you doing here, not that I'm not happy to see you but why are you here? Isn't Grahams letting you scrub in on his surgery? What are you doing here, passing up that amazing opportunity?" she asked. "I just ... wanted to see how you're doing." He stammered. "I'm pregnant, not sick. There is a difference." Ellis answered annoyed. "I know, I just ..." he stammered, "Well, I'm sick of people babying me." She complained as she was standing there shirtless not caring if Webber saw her like that, he had seen it all before anyway in their previous affair. "You're almost eight weeks away from your due date. You've gotta take it easy." He cared about her, and the baby she was his only real friend in the programme due to them both being different to the rest due to their race or gender. But he also loved Adele. But he also had feelings for Ellis. God, love really was complicated, however he had fixed things with adele and they were happily married and their friendship had grown, however ellis still felt bitter about him staying with adele, but tried not to let it show too much.

Surgery was the one thing Ellis really lived for. And for the tiny human she was currently growing. She groaned suppressed. She'd wanted to stay at the hospital but the Chief insisted that she was going on. Her feet were aching and she had been suffering from Braxton Hicks all day. She even considered going to OB to get checked out. Ellis Grey was very tired. The doctor had recommended that she should do shorter hours at work and maybe he was right and she should really listen to him. After all, this was her child they were talking about and throughout the Braxton hicks and being told to go home, ellis stayed for an extra night working in the pit on traumas and scrubbing in on multiple surgeries, she wanted to show them that just because shes pregnant doesn't mean she isn't a doctor. She went home the following night.

In the night, she awakened when a sharp pain ripped through her abdomen. Her first thought was damn it, it's too early for her to come. Now is not the time. But when she started timing her contractions she counted that they were coming every fifteen minutes. Maybe it'd be safer to go to a hospital than to stay. Who knows what could happen?

"Yes, hospital." She mumbled quietly as she grabbed her old phone and with shaky fingers, she called 911. She knew she wouldn't be able to drive a car and didn't want to get into an accident. After some minutes, minutes that seemed like an eternity, the ambulance was there. "Finally." Ellis mumbled as they were on their way to the hospital. She had no idea what would happen in the next few hours other than it wasn't good.  "Dr. Grey." The nurse, Liz, greeted her, although she was a surgical scrub nurse she decided to go up to support her friend, and nurse the delivery suite. "The doctor will be shortly with you." Ellis never replied anything coherent. She looked up when Dr. Forbes entered the exam room. The ultrasound machine was already there, on stand-by. "Let's see what we've got. So, you're in labor?" She asked. Ellis grimaced before replying: "Yeah, pretty sure I am." Right on schedule, another wave ripped through her and she groaned loudly. "can you page Richard webber and let him know I don't want to do this alone?" the doctor nodded, then instructed the intern on duty to do so.

"Let's just take a peek, ok? You've done the prenatal testing for genetic diseases like Down's or DiGeorge?" Ellis nodded in reply, as the doctor turned on the ultrasound machine and reached for the transducer. "Of course." She hasn't taken any chances and for now, her pregnancy had been without any mentionable events that have happened. That's when the baby showed up on the screen of the monitor. Ellis was once again fascinated, not that she showed this side to her at work but she couldn't help it looking at the tiny baby on the screen.  "Hey, little one." She whispered as she looked at the monitor screen. She was looking at her baby girl. That didn't happen often but in cases like this ... she could get emotional.

Hours later:

The labor was progressing very slowly. It was exhaustive. Richard was with her, when he had the time in between doing doctor things. He'd taken some time off when he heard that she was about to give birth. Ellis was glad for him being there, especially since Thatcher had left after she told him. He'd said that she was married to her work and that he didn't want to live like that. Always wondering when she would be home from surgery. And so he left. Ellis had never heard anything from him and honestly she didn't care. He wasn't there when she went to her OB to find out her baby's gender. He wasn't there, Richard or her close friend Carolyn.

Ellis didn't want to think about and just as that, another contraction was coming. She grunted in pain and gripped Richard's hand tightly. But then he was called away. "I'm sorry but they're paging me. I've gotta go." He said sympathetically "Don't you dare leave ..." She screeched, breathing heavily. In and out an in and out. "You're doing great." Her OB told her to interrupt her. "Yeah? Doesn't really feel that way." She mumbled as another contraction was ripping her apart. The contraction were coming closer apart. Now they were coming every few minutes. "Ok, now push, your at 10cm." And Ellis did. It was hard and painful but she did it. Although he had no idea how she did it. When she was finally crowning, she was relieved. Her OB told her: "Don't push, the baby's head is crowning. Just give it a second." Oh, damn it. She wanted Richard, she fell back against the cushions and closed her eyes.

"Now, push." She advised her, "Can't." It was just too painful. "I can't." She breathed. "It's too much. I want a c-section." She said, "You can do this, Dr. Grey. Just give me one last push" In that moment, the foetal heart monitor was giving an alarm. "Damn it. Grey, your daughter's heartbeat has slowed down considerately. You have to push." She grunted. And finally she started listening to what her doctor said. "I want you to push when the next contraction comes." Ellis felt beads of sweat forming on her forehead and she was exhausted. She wanted to sleep. She was thirsty even though she got fluids intravenously. She had no idea if she could do it again. But then, finally her daughter was out. She was tired, achy and she couldn't do anything. She couldn't push anymore ... then she remembered that her daughter was already born, "Meredith Carolyn Grey" ellis muttered out the babies name, that's when she realised there was no cry after the baby was born, setting off immediate panic ..