𝗙𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗱•𝗝. 𝗛𝗮𝗹𝗲✔︎

Lost

Words: 1122

It had been more than a month. Bella was back. And she was headed to a movie with Jake, and Mike. Jess bailed, and I had work. I sat bored at work, waiting for someone to come in. It seemed now that I thought I got him off my mind the world had to let me know he would never leave me. Except for physically.

"Miss Charleston, are you okay? You look pale." An older, darker lady said, worry in her dark eyes.

"Yes, ma'am, I'm fine. I'm just tired." I gave her a reassuring smile. Then I pulled lips into a playful smile, and said,
"Isn't everyone here pale?"

She smiled. "I guess so, darling." She turned back to her work, and I did the same. I wasn't sure if I had convinced her or not. Her soft words confused me. Most people used that tone to share their pity for me.

Finally, an hour later, my shift was over. I could drive now, but I found Charlie waiting in the cruiser. He looked stressed as I entered the passenger seat. "What's wrong Charlie?" I asked.

"There's murders again, a bit different from the last ones—some are the same." He didn't share much about himself, but there was enough.

"The ones like the human ones?" I asked, a false shock, but fear rang in my ears.

"And actual animal ones." He seemed disgusted to find the 'humans' had not disappeared. "It seems like now that the Cullens are gone, the monsters just come out." Charlie sighed. He glanced nervously at me as he spoke the names.

"Relax, Charlie." I chuckled humorlessly. "I'm not Bella, I won't break down at the name."

"I know that, E." His face was sad, hurt, and angry. "I'm just worried about her. She's doing better, but I don't know how long it'll last."

"I guess we'll find out." I sighed, too. The question had been nagging at me too. There were a million things running through my head, but it had floated around. I was still trying not to go into the Cullens home, as if they'd be there.

Now, a week later, I was in Bella's room. We were fighting, and I was more angry than I should have been. "It's not the answer I wanted." Bella muttered.

"Obviously not, Bella!" I sighed, forcing my anger down. "When your boyfriend, who you're attached to leaves, none of the answers are going to be the one you want."

"Not like you're much better!" She was offended.

"You're right." I sighed. I left her. Charlie was out fishing with Harry, and Jacob had left Bella, so now we fought as often as Jessica spread gossip. I hated that, and I was always being stupid. Bella was hurting, and I was making it all so much worse. I didn't really understand what in the hell my life was anymore, but I gave up on fighting the urge. I was totally breaking into the Cullens house.

I was an idiot, but I think if I gave myself the last bit of visual proof that the Cullens were gone my hope would be crushed. If my hope is crushed, maybe it'll be easier to move on with my life. I went to the bathroom, I assumed Bella wouldn't miss a bobby-pin. I flushed the toilet, as if Bella would even be listening. I spotted a used shopping card on the self just outside the bathroom, out of the corner of my eye. I slipped it into my pocket. I was in the kitchen, grabbing keys to the truck, that I finally learned to drive, when Bella rushed down the stairs. "Where are you going?"

"I told Em..." I hesitated on his name, the fight flying into sight. "Embry that I was going to see him at La Push." I explained.

"Oh, okay." She nodded.

"Do you need your truck? I can text him if you—"

"No, no, I don't need it." She assured me.

Liar 101. Don't lie, kids. I smiled, and apologized. I left her once again, and made my way, seemingly to La push. Really I was taking the long way to the Cullen residence. I was giving myself time to regret and let myself know I was a physco. I was weak, and couldn't turn myself around.

Once I got there, I easily opened the door with a Bobby-pin. I looked in the home, closing the door behind me. I looked around. The place was the same. Every piece of furniture exactly the same. There was a book on the living room couch, and a pair of Alice's shoes still by the front door. They left in a hurry. I went up the stairs. I looked around the rooms, everything gone but the furniture. All of their books, well most of them.

I took a breath before entering Jasper's room. There was a piece of paper, on his bookshelf, that had one book left in it. I curiously grabbed the book. A history book, about the civil war, but it was also a romance. I had read it before. Two people fell in love, people who were forbidden. I hastily shoved the book back in its place. It fell, but I ignored it as I saw two words on the piece of paper. Two words that made me forget everything around me.

Dear Evelynn,

I love you. I had to leave. All of this is my fault. I should have stayed away. I know you told me not to be upset, or beat myself up over the party. I won't. I haven't. I left because I'm bad for you. I won't lie, the same way Edward has planned to do to Bella. I'm leaving because I'm afraid of hurting you, or Bella. You don't understand how hard it is to stay away from you. I knew you'd come by. I know I've hurt you, maybe it will be a reminder, a reason to stay away from me, to stay away from the 'nice' vampires. Evelynn, I knew if I tried to say goodbye, it would make everything more real, but it also meant I wouldn't be able to leave. I'm not strong enough for that. I hope you move on, be with someone else. Someone who can make you happy, Evelynn.

I love you,

Jasper Hale or as you may know me, Jasper Whitlock.

I froze. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. Not because I cried too many tears, but because there was someone behind me. I had only realized just now. I turned slowly, looking into the crimson red eyes I knew too well.
"Of course." I muttered. "I should have known."