𝗙𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗱•𝗝. 𝗛𝗮𝗹𝗲✔︎

Victoria

Words: 1881

I had managed to avoid Uley's pack. I stayed far away from La push. As far as I could tell, I could eat human food, but it didn't taste as good as it used to. Bella and I searched endlessly for answers, finding nothing. She was worried about Victoria. She was angry, scared, and empty. She was going away again, and I needed her.

I needed someone, and it couldn't be Charlie, or the pack. It had to be someone who I knew wouldn't hate me. I needed the Cullens. Bella needed the Cullens.

  I was glad to be needed. Now that I didn't sleep as often. I slept for four hours and I didn't need sleep for two days. When Bella would have nightmares, I'd wait for Charlie to leave her, then I'd go in her room. I'd comfort her. She was
my cousin, but she felt a whole lot like a sister.

She told me at night, that her nightmares were now different. They involved Victoria, and I couldn't lie; I had nightmares about her too. Sleeping less helped that, but it gave me too much time to think. Without Edward I had no reason to guard my thoughts, to force them away. I still practiced the method, as I was forcing them away from myself. I hadn't thought about him as much, and then I made the stupid decision to go into his house. It was creepy, and stupid. I was stupid.

These were thoughts I wanted to get away from too. The ones that downgraded me. I wasn't stupid and I knew that. Yes, I'm impulsive. I don't think through everything, but I was still a human being. A thing that came naturally. I was by no means perfect, but my brain forced itself to believe that someone was. My brain was trying to make me think that I needed to be another perfect person.

  Finally, the sun started to rise. Bella started to stir, but I knew she'd be asleep for a while longer. I crept down the hall, and back to my own room. I could hear Charlie's quiet snores behind his closed door. I could hear the steady rhythm of their sleeping hearts, and I could hear the too-fast-heartbeat of my own. I didn't realize it, but it was far faster than the others. I knew something happened. The subtle differences, that no one but Bella and I noticed, they told me that I was something. For now I would tell myself I was human.

I would tell myself I'm human as I grabbed a casual outfit. I would tell myself I'm human as I comb through my thick hair. I would tell myself I was still human as I made everyone bagels for breakfast, including myself. I would tell myself I was still human as I conversed with Charlie and Bella in the mornings. I would tell myself I was human as Bella and I rushed out the door. I would tell myself I was a human until I knew I wasn't.

School was going well. Bella was engaging in conversation. Her mind obviously wandered, but I was glad to see she was still able to get at least three good sentences. She even asked Jess if she was free. Jess denied her, and told her she was going out with mike. It was an obvious lie, but Mike was happy hanging out with his girlfriend. I could tell the two weren't going to last very long. As friends, yes, but a couple, no.

"So, Evelynn, you haven't been hanging out with us much anymore.." Eric accused. I hadn't been hanging out with anyone. No one but Bella.

"Yeah, yeah." I sat up in my seat. "I've been hanging out with a friend on the res." I told him.

"Oh, I know a few guys on the res. Who is it?" Eric said, smiling. He was with Angela, who he was happy to be with. They were a couple I could see lasting.

"Embry Call. He's a year younger." I told him, hoping he didn't know him. Or his pack. I could clearly tell that they were just that. Even though they told me, I didn't believe much anymore, not without proof. After all, they could be very good jokesters.

"Oh, I don't know him." He nodded, taking a bite of a carrot.

  "Ooohhh a him. Do you like him?" Jessica asked, ready for some new hot gossip. She was especially ready seeing as Jasper and I were no longer a couple. Ouch.