Loving 2 boys at once

Acting as normal

Hailey's POV

Monday morning are always the worst. It makes me even grumpier than other mornings. 
A week has past since Josh arrived and since I figured out about Jake. I have been ignoring both of them most of the time. And when I'm around them, I have the feeling they sense something is going on. I guess the part were I said I would act as normal as I can is not that easy, because people notice.
" You okay, kiddo? You haven't said anything yet." 
I look up to my dad who's look concerned at me from the other side of the table. I have been stirring in my bowl of cereal, it looks like a porridge now. I push the bowl aside.
I give him a weak smile. " I'm fine.."
As I'm about to get up, he speaks. " Don't give me, Hailey. You have been acting different all week." 
I sit back down and turn back to him. " Let's say I have a few confusing things going on in my head that I need to fix. " 
He doesn't seem to believe everything I said, but he lets it go for now. 
" Okaay, kiddo. Just tell me whenever, okay?" 
I nod and make my way to the door. " Bye dad!" 

A morning walk to school always seem to be making me a little less grumpy, but these last days I don't seem to be my happy self. 

__
I shove my books in my backpack and head for James' locker.
Without saying a word, I go stand next to him, leaning against the lockers. 
" Heey.. " He says, looking awkward. 
I have my arms crossed. " Heey.." 
He puts his locker shut and gives me a death-serieus look. 
" Okaay, now you are gonna tell me. I'm not buying it anymore. What the heck is wrong? You have been acting strange ever since Josh arrived last week. "
I sigh and roll my eyes. " Don't bother.. I'm fine." 
Anna looks rather annoyed at me. She said I had to tell, because I can't keep this forever to myself.
" No she is not fine." 
I widen my eyes and stand up straight. " Anna, don't." 
James is looking confused between Anna and I . 
" What is it?" James asks.
" Anna, you won't. You-" I point my finger at her.
She puts my finger down." Yes, I will. I gave you enough time to tell them. I've had it with all the secrets." Anna turns around to face James again.
I can't believe she is telling him. I was gonna tell them, just not yet. 
" She has been keeping a secret. Her and Josh-" Anna goes on. 
I can't take this. I'm the one who needs to tell it. " Okay, okay. I'll tell." 
James turns his face at me. " Josh and I were together on summer camp. We became friends, shocker. But the thing is..." I scratch my head. " ... Josh was my summer love. We dated over the summer.." 
James widens his eyes, he seems to be shocked. " You and Josh? Friends? Dated? That's a joke, right?" 
I shake my head. " I wish it was, but isn't."
" Woow.. " 
" That's not all." 
" What? " 
I sigh. " He wants to start over.. with me." 
He stays quiet. By the look in his eyes I can tell he's thinking. But he stays quit a long time. 
" Say something!" 
He snaps out of his thought. " You have to talk to Jake. " 
I shake my head. " No.. I thought about telling him, but that was after I figured out how he feels. I can't hurt him." 
" What if he finds out?" Anna suddenly asks.
James nods, probably thinking the same thing as Anna.
" He won't. If you 2 shut up, he won't find out. You gotta promise not to tell. Trust me when it's for the best. I have enough on my head as it is." 
Not sure about the whole thing, Anna and James do agree. 
" Good.." I put the strap of my backpack over my shoulder. " I have Math, see you guys." I make my way for first period. 

I snap myself out of my thought and look up to see Josh coming towards me, but he hasn't see me yet. 
'Oh no..'  I turn around.
I bump into a tall figure.  " Heey.. Don't you need to go that way?" 
I shake my head and smile sarcastic.  I turn around again. " Yeah off course, silly me." 

I take a seat in class, next to Jake.
Josh takes a seat at the others side of me a minute later.
" Heey.."
" Heey.." I say with a poker face on, but can't help to keep staring at him.
He gets his book out and lays it on his desk. It's like he feels someone staring at him.
His eyes dart to my side and I quickly take a glance at the board, again trying to act as normal as possible.
But in the corner of my eye, I notice him roll his eyes. 

They are both messing with my head and I have no idea how to deal with it. 
Because I don't want to hurt either one of them.
Still I do know no matter what I do or choose, I will hurt one of them.