Loving 2 boys at once

An act of betrayal

Hailey's POV

" Have you told him yet?" 
I sigh. " James, cut it! Don't meddle in it!" 
" I really can't get how 2 people who couldn't stand each other suddenly can become lovers." He says while picking his food. 
He's dissapointed in me, dissapointed that I don't have the guts to tell Jake the whole thing. 
" Why aren't you telling him? You know it's not fare to Josh either if you keep going like this." 
I am really getting annoyed. " Damn James, shut up already! I'll tell him, but not now. You have no idea how it is. Since Jake told me about his feelings, I don't know how I feel about him anymore. And with Josh, well I don't know." 
" It's a luxury problem, Hailey. You have 2 guys loving you. You just have to pick one." 
I narrow my eyes at him. " What? It's not a luxury problem, I will hurt one of them in the proces. And since when have you become so unsensitive?" 
He rolls his eyes and keeps eating.
I wish I hadn't told him. I wish I hadn't told Anna either. Then we wouldn't be sitting here like this. Anna and him keep on telling me I need to tell Jake, because it's not fair to both Jake and Josh. 
All they do is bicker against me. 
I used to love to come to school just to be with my friends, but I am dreading to come lately because of them. 

-----

In the hallways, I'm making my way to English class. Josh is walking my way, but this time he saw me. So I can't just turn around and make a run for it. 
Without saying a thing, he takes my hand and pulls me towards an empty classroom. 
"What are you doing? " I say annoyed, while on the way over there.
He doesn't say a thing. He looks rather annoyed himself.
He pulls me in the room and turns around. 
With a mixture of hurt and anger on his face he looks at me.
" So what's it gonna be now, Connors?"
" What are you talking about?" 
He closes his eyes for a few seconds, probably to calm himself. 
" Don't act like that! You know well enough what I mean. At summer camp you were all over me and since we saw each other again 2 weeks ago, all you do is try to ignore me. I actually thought you'd be happy to see me. I thought there were feelings. Guess I'm mistaken. " He turns around.
I'm hurt by his word, but he's right. And I'm doing exactly what I never wanted to happen: hurting one of them.
" I love you.." 
He turns around. " What?" 
" I love you, okay? It's just.. I have a lot of stuff going on and I have no idea how to handle them." 

" So that's why you both have been acting so strange lately.." 
I turn around to see the owner of the voice. In the doorway, leaning against the doorframe stands Jake. 
I suddenly feel my heart beat a little faster. 
" Jake.." I go towards him, but he ignores me. He has his focus on Josh.
He passes me and goes standing in front of Josh. 
" I thought I could trust, after what I told you. I thought you at least would have found the guts to tell me in my face. " Jake hisses towards his cousin.
I don't get it. What did he tell him?
" What did.." I start.
" He told me about his feelings for you." Josh says while looking at Jake. He has a poker face on.     I wish I could know what is rushing through his mind right now.
" And you.." Jake says and turns around to me. 
He shakes his head and gives me the same look James has been giving me, the dissapointed look.
" I thought we were friends. I have to hear that you and Josh dated, like this?!" I can see the hurt in his eyes and I feel so guilty right now. This is all my fault.
Why was I so stupid to believe that keeping it all a secret was such a good idea?!
" I'm sorry, Jake.." 
He looks in my eyes. " Me too.." 
He makes his way to the door and leaves, wich leaves Josh and I alone.
Both are astauned by what just happened, but it's our fault. We should've just spoken instead of hiding it. We are traitors.
A tear slides down my cheek while still staring at the door opening where I saw Jake dissapear. 
Josh doesn't say anything, comes in front of me and takes me in a hug. I lay my head against his chest. 

I pull away from the hug and rub the tears away. I don't want to appear as weak. I shouldn't cry. 
Josh sighs. " What are we gonna do now?" 
I look at him and think. " We just have to wait and hope he ever wants to talk with us again. We are his best friends and we did betray him.  We took advantage of his innocence. " 
He looks down, guilty. 
" I'm glad about one thing that happened though. " I speak up.
He looks at me confused. " What is that?" 
" That I finally told you how I feel." 
He smiles. " Me too." 
We give each other a smile. 
I will need him the coming days, weeks. Because our friends won't talk to us for an amount of time after what happened. I'm glad I still have him. 

I did figure out my feelings towards Josh, but I still have no idea what that feeling is when I'm with Jake. 
I guess I'm still as confused as I was before. 

I think I need to sort out all of my thought. 
And after Jake has cooled down, I hope Jake will still want to talk to us. 
Only time will tell. And we will have to be patience.